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'I don't get it...after all the budget cuts to streamline the work force, why aren't we moving faster.'
'My policy is to stay in close contact with my employees . . . figuratively speaking.'
The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'
'HR says we should be looking for a little fresh blood any idea what they're talking about?'
'We found the donut to be more of an incentive for him.'
'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'
"I'm back. Move."
'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'
'Make sure that those 'Ideas whose time has come', get launched today.'
'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'
'Well, technically speaking, we do have a conscience...'
'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'
While You Were Out
'The good news is that we've created six new jobs...and the better news is that they're all yours.'
"Don't be silly - lots of men share the same briefcase."
'I have good news and bad news. The problem is, I don't know which is which.'
Remembers: Elevators can go down as well as up.
Sizzling Bucks: Eavesdrop On America's Lustiest C.E.O.s As They Share Their Fantasies Of Dominance + Humiliation
"Looks like you just missed Him."
'I eliminated all the platitudes and cliche statements, from your mission statement, and I'm left with this blank sheet of paper.'
"Finally, a succinct corporate mission statement."
'That's our mission statement.'
'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'
"I did my job, I grabbed my pile, and yet no voice at eventide has cried 'Well done!'"
"That's all very nice, Jefferson, but do you have any other new business?"