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'I don't get it...after all the budget cuts to streamline the work force, why aren't we moving faster.'
'Make sure that those 'Ideas whose time has come', get launched today.'
'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'
'There's talk of innovation out here. Winds of change are headed your way. Lock your door, pull the shades and hide under your desk.'
'That's our mission statement.'
'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'
'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'
"Can I dress business casual even though I lost our business?"
'Alert, sir The competition is trying to hack into our hard copies,'
"Hey, do any of you guys want to start a gang?"
"I'm not unwilling to take risks. I'd just like them to be at someone else's expense."
"I'm not wearing any pants."
'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'
'I'm sorry, he's not available. Can you call back when you're more important?'
'Take this mission statement back and rewrite it. More mumbo and less jumbo.'
'Welcome to the corporation. Would you prefer to be branded or have a tattoo on the inside of your ear?'
"Sorry, I'm a little jumpy - when you're a nail, everything looks like a hammer."
'I've found that giving a lot to charity helps our image. It also helps to remember that we're giving away other peoples's money and not our own.'
'How can people say that we aren't a diverse group, we might LOOK the same but I happen to know for instance that Gerald wears a basque under his suit,'
"How long has it been, Fenwick, since you weaseled your way into this corporation?"
Board of Cronies
'What I mainly want to get out of this meeting is myself.'
"You win - I'll take the buyout."
'We don't insist on over time. However, to clock out you have to get past our guard dogs.'
'Actually, I was hoping for a more inspiring mission statement.'