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"No fair. You promised you'd downsize by attrition."
Tags:attrition, war of attrition, wars of attrition, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, restructure, restructures, restructuring, corporate policy, corporate policies, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, unemployment, fire, fired, firing, firings, jargon, employee, employees, boss, bosses, upper management, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, hierarchy, hierarchies, corporate hierarchy, corporate hierarchies
Another Impromptu Workplace Interaction,
'Before your 'routine' surgery, your manager would like to stop by and give you a 'routine' exit interview.'
'Flexibility means, yesterday's nonsense is today's corporate policy!'
The Devolution of Man
"I was hoping for more from you 'Mission Statement' than, 'earn a s******d of money'!"
'Yeah, I'm getting ready to make the announcement that the company is getting rid of our landlines and going exclusively cellular."
"We don't pay well, the hours are long and there's no benefits. We do, however, pride ourselves on being honest."
"Wait, Jeff. Our new policy is to ask our guests to leave the room before discussing confidential matters. No need for the chloroform."
Tags:chloroform, drug, anaesthetics, anaesthetic, anaesthetia, anesthetics, anesthetic, anesthetia, boardroom, boardrooms, board, boards, businessmen, businessman, corporate culture, corporate environment, corporate environments, confidential discussion, confidential discussions, confidential matters, company policy, corporate policy, company policies, policy change, policy changes
"The thing about innovation, new ideas and change is that it needs to be carefully considered, vetted and fall within corporate governance before being implemented."
"It's a concept whose flexibility we try to fully explore, but I wouldn't describe honesty as a policy."
"We take confidentiality very seriously in this company."
Tags:confidentiality, confidentiality contract, confidentiality contracts, confidentiality agreement, confidentiality agreements, confidential, top secret, gag, gags, gagging, corporate policy, employee, employees, loyalty, business secret, corporate espionage, corporate spying, business secrets, confidential business, confidential
"This is a natural company, we make natural products and we've got a natural dress code."
'It's never too early in a business's life to start having a corporate culture.'
"Because this is a non-profit organization, we have non-profit sharing."
'They're part of our corporate culture.'
'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Nice mission statement Farnsworth!'
'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'
"We thought we'd put in the details later."
"Do you have anything that reeks of power?"
Corporate policy is that this company is now paperless. Please use hand.
"Yes, I did say you needed to back up all your date. But there's an easier way than handwriting thousands of pages."
"I'm sorry Perkins, but dying at your desk is a strict breach of company policy!"
Tags:company policy, company policies, corporate policy, corporate policies, deathbed, deathbeds, death bed, death beds, breach of policy, employee, employees, employer, employers, hr, human resources, personnel, office politics, manager, managers, management, managements, corporate culture, desk job, desk jobs, workaholic, workaholics, work addict, work addicts
"My door is always open, Truscot, so don't go near it!"
"This new policy of resisting change is certainly innovative."