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"Something intellectual-I'm presenting a goddam writing award."
"I hardly recognized you without makeup."
"It still looks just a little too much like - I don't know - me."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."
"You're wearing a lab coat under false pretenses."
The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.
Gracie places a wig in a glass case in case of emergency.
"Tia Carmen, you used to work in a beauty shop, didn't you?"
"I did real well dyeing hair at cosmetology school. One word they teach you never to say out loud is...ooops! You know, lots of kids today are shaving their hair right off! It's a cool look!"
"Fixing bad dye jobs was my specialty in cosmetology school. Too bad after all those years, I perfected just one style..."