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'Coffee won't help. I'm just not a morning person.'
"Please - no more specialists."
'Seriously! Have you ever considered spray tan?'
"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."
"Believe me-if you could see yourself, you'd drop the whole idea!"
"And now may I bite your neck?"
Tags:college, colleges, current events, current event, consent, consenting, consents, consensual, consensually, safe, safety, dracula, vamp, vampire, vampires, count dracula, dating, date, dates, law, laws, rule, rules, legislation, myth, mythological creatures, seek consent, seeking consent, protect, protective, protection, protective measures, extensive, extensively, asking, ask, asks, communicate, communication, communicated, communicating, bite, biting, bites, fang, fangs
'Sorry. We can't pay on your life insurance policy. You apparently didn't read our 'living dead' clause.'
Tags:insurance, insure, insured, insurance policy, insurance policies, get out clause, clause, clauses, living dead, dead, die, dying, dies, died, vampire, vampires, dracula, count dracula, pay out, paying out, pays out, payed out, life insurance, life insurance policy, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Oh Hector - you are really spoiling me..."
Interview with a Vampire.
Dracula uses a borrowed coffin.
"This is what you get in night court, sonny."
"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"
Tags:sentiment, sentiments, sentimental fool, sentimental fools, valentine, valentines, valentine's day, valentines day, romance, romances, romantic, romantics, bram stoker, jonathan harker, lucy westenra, van helsing, lord godalming, dr. john seward, quincey morris, count dracula, mina, vamp, vamps, vampire, vampires
'It won't work, I'm Jewish!'
Dracula as a Phlebotomists
Tags:vampire, vampires, blood donors, blood donation, blood donations, monster, monsters, blood transfusion, horror story, count, dracula, bram stoker, horror stories, blood donor, blood donation, blood extraction, sucking blood, phlebotomist, phlebotomists, phlebotomy, dracula, count dracula, bride of frankenstein, routine medical
The Count Joins the Church Search Committee
"Blood bank robbery...you?"
Tags:dracula, count dracula, vampires, vamp, vamps, ghouls, horror story, horror stories, prisoners, prisons, jails, inmates, cell mates, crimes, criminal, criminals, vampire, frankenstein, frankenstein's monster, monster, monsters, ghoul, horror, jail, prison, prisoner, inmate, cell mate, mythical monster, mythical monsters
"It's suppose to be tomato juice! That's how you make a Bloody Mary!"
"I will try the soup of the night."
"It's not the flu. I got a very bad case of tired blood."
'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'
Tags:halloween, monster, holidays, monsters, frankenstein, ghosts, dracula, vampire, vampires, count dracula, diagnostic imaging, mri, mri scan, mri scans, x-ray, x-rays, xray, xrays, scanning, medical office, waiting rooms, waiting area, medical staff, customer service, problem patients, health care, healthcare
'Good resume, but I just can't see you working here.'
"He came in right before dawn, and must have thought he was slipping into bed."
"I really got burned by my last advisor. He told me NOT to quit my day job..."
"Your cholesterol is high. I'm putting you on a non-fat diet...supermodels only."
Tags:count dracula, dracula, vampire, vampires, doctor, doctors, check-up, check-ups, checkup, checkups check up, check ups, healthy eating, cutting out fat, eating healthy, model, models, supermodel, supermodels, super model, super models, body standard, body standards, halloween, non-fat, no-fat, no fat, non fat, nonfat, cholesterol, high cholesterol