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'That's how much time your HMO allots for bypass surgery.'
'Four million, eight hundred seventeen thousand sixty three... two? Wait... four... wait, oh boy, I probably should have been writing this down.'
"I'm going to call it zero."
Tags:wheel, wheels, sculpt, sculpts, sculpted, sculpting, sculptor, sculptors, zero, zeroes, stone, stones, invent, invents, inventing, invented, inventor, inventors, stone age, stone ages, chisel, chisels, chiselled, chiselling, mathematics, maths, math, number, digit, digits, numbers, counting, counts, counted, count, call, calls, calling, called
"The president decided, instead of delaying the election, he'd ensure its legitimacy by counting the votes himself."
Tags:president trump, president donald trump, trump, donald trump, the donald, vote, votes, voting, voted, count, counts, counting, counters, counted, counter, tally, tallies, board, boards, blackboard, blackboards, delay, delays, delaying, delayed, election, elections, legitimacy, legitimate, 2020 election, 2020 elections, november elections, us politics, presidential campaign, tactic, tactics, trick, tricks, tricking, tricked, rig, rigs, rigging, rigged
trapped in one's own home
Tags:quarantine, quarantines, quarantining, quarantined, coronavirus, corona, virus, viruses, covid-19, covid 19, covid, stuck, self isolation, self isolating, self isolates, self isolate, lost track of time, lose track of time, losing track of time, loses track of time, indoors, stay indoors, stays indoors, staying indoors, stayed indoors, count, counting, counted, feel like a prisoner, prison, prisoner, prisons, prisoners, trap, trapping, trapped, traps
"At least we'll go in our sleep."
Tags:sheep, wolf, wolves, counting sheep, count sheep, counts sheeps, counted sheep, count, counting, counted, counts, die, dies, dying, died, death, deaths, corner, cornered, cornering, corners, opposite, opposites, prey, preys, predator, predators, hunt, hunts, hunted, hunting, sleep, sleeps, sleeping, slept
Sheep counting shepherds.
'It's not our days in prison. It's how many times I put a roach in your nose while you slept.'
Tags:prison, prisons, jail, jails, prisoner, prisoners, cell, cells, cell mate, cell mates, cellmate, cellmates, prank, pranks, tally, tallies, tallied, count, counts, counting, counted, counter, counters, roach, roaches, cockroach, cockroaches, worry, worries, worried, worrying, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Minutes since the TV broke.
Tags:television, televisions, broke, broken, break, breaks, count, counting, counted, counts, countdown, countdowns, counting down, time, timing, timed, times, timer, timers, tally, tallies, tallied, tallying, minutes, bored, bores, boring, nothing to do, nothing else to do, reliant, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'The good news is that a knockout by the ring girl wont count against your record.'
'I can't count to ten, can you?.'
'...16...17...18...stop me when I get to a billion, Mom.'
'My digital revolution was when I learned to count on all ten fingers.'
'Don't you ever take a break?'
'I hope it never gets out that our senior accountant counts on his fingers.'
Only 12 more lopping days 'til Christmas.
The founder of a computer company.
'He says he needs a urine and stool sample from you plus a sperm count.. why don't you just leave him your shorts?'
'I miscounted and went from 8 to 7.'
'My philosophy is to sit down and the hell with being counted.'
Census counting illegal aliens.
'You can count your blessings on the fingers of one hand.'
'I stood up to be counted once, and now they've got my number!'
Dear Diary: Took another 20,000 breaths today!