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"I'd like the Court to remember that my client only got into counterfeiting to counteract what he felt was an overly restrictive monetary policy on the part of the Fed."
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'My hedge against inflation.'
'You sold the Mercedes-Benz to the guy who fixed our copier? For cash?'
'It's a living.'
"I didn't know there was that much money in the whole world!"
'We don't have to go on any quiz show. We're millionaires!'
"Earlier we reported police busting a counterfeit ring. We're now learning it may not be a real counterfeit ring."
'...You do your own money laundering!'
'And this is where we launder our money.'
'Money laundering is stupid! -- Every time I try it, the stuff just falls apart!'
'You spent all day mashing a can of a hundred baked beans and drawing a little man on them to look like pennies?'
"You gotta make money to spend money when you're in the counterfeiting business."
She was quickly arrested and charged with passing phony Bills.
"Would you like to come up and see my etchings? They're all exactly the same. All twenty-pound notes."
"He obviously doesn't realise this drug is a placebo." "She obviously doesn't realise this money is a placebo."
'I should have gotten away with the counterfeit $20 bills. My only mistake was putting Bernie Madoff's picture on them.'
Shop clerk neglects to watch the till when checking for fake money.
'Well you checked my £20 note so I'm checking the change you gave me!'
"It tells me if your bill is fake or not."
'Guess what we learned in screen printing class today?'
"All the money he left you is counterfeit. We think he even faked his own death."
'We've long suspected they may be laundering money.'
'I'm doing a little quantative easing of my own.'
'Vice squad - you're busted.'