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George Gershwin, Psychiatrist
"Well, now that you have it, you can stop worrying about getting it."
"Who or what should I sacrifice to relieve simple nervous tension?"
"You're not supposed to give refreshments to them, you idiot!"
"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."
'Do you have more self confidence, Mr Watts, now I've put you on a pedestal?"
"It's really none of my business, Montresor, but are you sure you're going about this in the right way?"
The Joy of Reading
"He's paranoid someone will steal his identity..."
A terrorist shoots a peace protester in the back.
'We don't have menus, sir - the chef thinks they're counterproductive.'
"I'm trying to get the terrible taste of this mouthwash out of my mouth."
"Maybe swatting your pesky garden squirrel with a broom isn't a good idea."
'They do have a bad aftertaste, but I think taking diet pills with dip might defeat the purpose.'