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'That's how much time your HMO allots for bypass surgery.'
'Four million, eight hundred seventeen thousand sixty three... two? Wait... four... wait, oh boy, I probably should have been writing this down.'
"What a couple of clucks we are. Here's another mistake right up here."
Tags:jail, jails, prison, prisons, incarceration, behind bars, imprisoned, imprisonment, penitentiary, penitentiaries, correctional facility, correctional facilities, prisoner, prisoners, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, criminal, criminals, crime, punishment, punishments, jail cell, jail cells, prison cell, prison cells, cell, cells, cellmate, cellmates, celly, cellie, cellies, tally, tallies, tally mark, tally marks, counting, counting the days, mistake, mistakes, error, errors, dumb, stupid
"I just wish you would try counting your blessings the way you do your carbs."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, counting your blessings, counting carbs, counting calories, diet, diets, dieting, going on a diet, slimming down, losing weight, watching weight, carb, carbs, carbohydrates, carbohydrate, counting, wish, wishes, wishing, desire, desires, beauty, beauty standards, health, self-confidence, self-esteem, body image
Kevin's Eleven-Thousandth Day of Being Kevin
Tags:kevin, count, counts, counting, tic, tics, tic mark, tic marks, mark time, marks time, marking time, identity, identities, name, names, tick mark, tick marks, tick, ticks, anniversary, anniversaries, passage of time, passages of time, thirty, thirties, thirtieth birthday, 30th birthday, 30, birthday, birthdays
Tags:box, boxes, boxing, boxer, boxers, punch, punches, punched, punching, puncher, punchers, ring, rings, knockout, knock out, knockouts, knock outs, count, counts, counting, bury, buries, buried, burying, beat, beats, beating, beaten, fight, fights, fighting, fighter, fighters, hammered, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"He's a nice young man, but are you sure he's an M.B.A.?"
Tags:masters, masters degree, masters diploma, grad, grads, graduate, graduates, business administration, university, universities, uni, university degree, university degrees, college, colleges, college degree, college degrees, office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, counting, counting on fingers, finger counting, math, maths, mathematics
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, rooster, roosters, chicken, chickens, wakeup call, wakeup calls, wake-up call, wake-up calls, crowing, cock-a-doodle-doo, morning, mornings, wake-up, wakeup, alarm clock, alarm clocks, alarm, alarms, performer, performers, performance, performances, performing, counting
Don & DixieKiss No. 274385
A golfer walking through the rough sees a sign near the green that reads "Resume counting".
"When you're counting as many beans as I was, a few are bound to stick to your plate."
Tags:jail, jails, prison, prisons, incarceration, behind bars, imprisoned, imprisonment, penitentiary, penitentiaries, correctional facility, correctional facilities, prisoner, prisoners, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, criminal, criminals, crime, accountant, accountants, accounting, bean counter, bean counters, bean counting, counting, fraud, white collar crime, embezzlement, embezzler, embezzlers, stealing, money, theft, bean, beans, metaphor, metaphors, wordplay, word play, greed, greedy
"Thank you, Lord, for reminding me to count my blessings."
Tags:begging, beg, begs, beggar, poor, poverty, homeless, home less, hobo, bum, businessman, businessmen, fat cat, fat cats, corporate, thankful, thankfulness, charity, charitable, charities, virtue, virtuous, virtues, words, word, action, actions, actions speak louder, blessing, blessings, count, counting, greed, individual, individualism, selfish, selfishness, privilege, privileged, life of privilege, first world, upper class, upper classes, message from god, messages from god, messenger, messengers
The Innumerate Seven
Tags:western, westerns, count, counts, counting, addition, math problem, math problems, maths, math, trouble, troubles, difficulty, difficulties, learning disability, learning disabilities, learning disabled, add, adds, adding, add up, adds up, adding up, cowboy, cowboys, classic, classics, classic film, classic films, movie poster, movie posters, film poster, film posters
"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, dating, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, boyfriend, boyfriends, love, romantic, poem, poems, poetry, poet, poets, sonnet, sonnets, mistake, mistakes, recount, recounts, counting, literature, sonnets from the portuguese, elizabeth barrett browning, how do i love thee, let me count the ways, foot in mouth, saying the wrong thing
"What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong,"
"Those are prison tattoos."
Tags:tattoo, tattoos, prison tattoos, prison tattoo, one night stand, one night stand, caught out, prisoner, prisoners, criminal, criminals, shock, shocked, surprise, surprises, the morning after, ex-offender, ex-offenders, resocialized, resocialised, resocialisation, regret, regrets, regretting, ex-prisoner, ex-prisoners, found out, couple, couples, mistake, mistakes, count, counting, counting down the days
'You can tell how old someone is by counting their rings.'
God watches people through binoculars while keeping track of their good and bad deed.
Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'
Tags:vegan, veg, vegans, veggie, vegetarian, vegetarians, meatfree, meat-free, meatless, impossible, tofu, tofus, soy, soys, paneer, cube, cubes, meat replacement, counting sheep, counting, sleep, sleepy, sleeping, dream, dreams, dreaming, dreamy, play on words, word play, word-play, modern, modern life, modern world
"When he was yelling stroke, stroke, stroke...I just thought he was counting!"
"They say time is money. I had a very generous judge."
With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.
Tags:elizabeth barrett browning, abacus, literature, poetry, poets, barrett browning, browning, elizabeth browning, let me count the ways, count the ways, sonnet 43, abolitionist, slavery, abolition of slavery, abolition, count, counting, math, maths, mathematics, mathematical, love, poem, poems, romanticism, literal, literally, poetry, publish, published, publication, quote, quotes, history, historical figure
Break Glass in Emergency.
'My horoscope says I'll be noticed by people who count.'