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'Hey kid, what are you in for?'
'I regret now cutting ethics class.'
'I got 2 years for filing false returns, but I did save a bundle by doing my own taxes.'
"You're doing 20-to-life. What do you mean you haven't got time to floss?"
Book on Time Management in prison.
"They say time is money. I had a very generous judge."
"I'm not a rat. I'm a person who ratted you out. There's a difference. You need to accept that so we can get past it."
"Complaints about your rights being abused have to be put in writing."
'First of all, get yourself a good lawyer. I highly recommend anyone but mine.'
"Well, if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me. My door is never open."
'I'm new. How's the Feng Shui here?'
'I thought 'good accounting practices' was just a suggestion!'
'How shall we celebrate this special time we have together?' Once Bob realized his days were numbered, he just sort of went with it.
'The DNA proves two things: I was guilty, and my lawyer was nuts thinking I wasn't.'
'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'
'Do you have to do that EVERY five minutes?'
'I was just getting used to handling large sums of money.'
'I must say it's a lot less stressful in here. A year ago I was running a Ponzi scheme. I couldn't sleep...'
I blame it on the system. On my last stretch I did a computer course, and now I'm in for computer fraud.
'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'
'You say you're in for perjury, eh? -- Why should I believe that?'
'What parking offence are you in for?'
Have you been here long? Prison number 2.
'I have great hopes for my next alibi -- I'm taking a creative writing course.'
'I'm here for making house calls to the homes of doctors at 3am.'