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"It doesn't mean I'm a sad clown. It means I killed a man in prison."
'Good news...your CRB check has come through.'
'Great news...we've got your CRB and ISA clearence and the GMC is on board...now we just need a NDA check to make sure that you're not an alien from planet Zorg and we'll be ready to go.'
'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'
'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'
'New partner, eh? Let me just run a complimentary CRB check for you.'
'You can only come in if you've been CRB checked.'
'we're sorry son - Father Christmas failed his CRB check.'