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Santa Land: Low Credit Score and Good Credit Score.
'Aren't you afraid of inaccuracies on your credit report?'
Gas station with a sign saying "Free credit report with full tank of gas"
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'Of course I have unpaid loans, what other kind is there?'
"Your sole use of credit has been to purchase Chinese takeout food. That's why you can't get a mortgage."
Tags:money, finances, personal finances, loan, loans, credit, lender, lenders, loan company, loan companies, borrower, borrowers, borrowing money, mortgage, mortgages, credit check, credit checks, credit score, credit scores, credit history, credit report, credit reports, credit bureau, credit bureaus, rejected, rejection, refusal, refused, chinese food, takeaway, takeout, chinese, delivery, to go, food, restaurant, restaurants, chinese restaurant, chinese restaurants
'Collateral? Sure, I've got collateral. How about a boatload of misery, a house of pain and a suitcase full 'o the blues?'
'I'm afraid we can't use your other outstanding loans as collateral.'
'Unfortunately Mr Jones, we're unable to approve your loan application... I'm afraid you're over-drawn!'
Maternity Ward - 'I wonder what his credit rating is...'
'For show and tell I downloaded our teacher's credit report from the internet,'
"I take it your credit score has gone up?"
'For show and tell I've brought individual credit reports on the entire faculty that I've downloaded from the internet.'
"Great news! All of those bill collectors stopped hounding me because the hacker who stole my identity is being hounded by them now."
Tags:identity theft, identity thief, identity thieves, identity thefts, stolen identity, stolen identities, hacker, hackers, computer hackers, computer hacker, bill collection, bill collectors, bill collector, credit report, credit reports, credits, credit reporting, credit bureau, debt, debt management, law, criminals, cyber criminals, cyber criminal, computers, hacking, consumer protection, consumer protection bureau, consumer protection agency
"I'm afraid our credit department has turned you down!"
'Just a minute while I pull up your file.'
"I don't see much borrowing on your credit report but I do see a lot of begging and stealing."
Tags:money, finances, personal finances, loan, loans, credit, debt, debts, lender, lenders, loan company, loan companies, borrower, borrowers, borrowing money, lending money, loan officer, loan officers, mortgage, mortgages, credit check, credit checks, credit score, credit scores, credit history, credit report, credit reports, credit bureau, credit bureaus, begging, beggar, beggars, stealing, thief, thieves
"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."
Bank Loans - Just Say No
'Yes, it is something you should be concerned about...this is your credit report.'
'You should hear back in a day or two. Until then, just sit tight and lay low.'
'You have too many credit cards. I think you have a debt wish.'
'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'
"I'm afraid I have a double dose of bad news. Your blood pressure is higher than your credit score."
Tags:credit score, credit scores, blood pressure, blood pressures, medical test, medical tests, credit report, credit reports, credit history, credit histories, medical bill, medical bills, hospital cost, hospital costs, hospital bill, hospital bills, diagnosis, bad news, bedside manner, health insurance medical insurance
'You have been pre-approved for another credit card.'
'Good news! Some guy stole my identity online. Now he's saddled with my bad credit rating.'