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'Bill, I just don't feel comfortable with this! I'm worried that it could be one of those pyramid schemes.'
"And if I'm elected I promise not to get re-indicted."
Tags:politics, politician, politicians, government, governments, election, elections, election campaign, election campaigns, political campaign, political campaigns, campaign, campaigns, campaigning, on campaign, speech, speeches, press conference, press conferences, promise, promises, political promise, political promises, indicted, re-indicted, indictment, indictments, re-indictment, re-indictments, scandal, scandals, political scandal, political scandals, crime, crook, crooks, crooked politician, crooked politicians, corrupt, corruption, voter, voters, vote, votes, if elected
"It's O.K., we're faith-based."
"Oh, oh! There goes our Christmas bonus."
Tags:christmas, christmas bonus, christmas bonuses, corporate crime, corporate crimes, corporate criminal, corporate criminals, white collar crime, white collar crimes, criminal, criminals, criminality, perp walk, perp walks, ponzi scheme, ponzi schemes, ceo, ceos, c.e.o., c.e.o.s, chairman, chairmen, chairman of the board, chairmen of the board, crook, crooks, crooked, arrest, arrests, arrested, incarcerate, incarcerated, employee, employees, staff, bonus, bonuses, corporate malfeasance
"What about my old age?"
"All I did was remove his flag pin!"
Tags:flag pin, flag pins, politician, politicians, patriotism, patriot, patriotic, hot air, full of hot air, hot gas, hot gases, hot gasses, substance, lack of substance, elite, elites, political elite, political elites, career politician, career politicians, crook, crooks, debate, debates, presidential debate, presidential debates, televised debate, televised debates, lapel pin, lapel pins, flag, flags, american flag, american flags, national flag, national flags
"In a sense, yes, I'm guilty."
'Although most people think of it as something new, keyless entry technology has actually been around for hundreds of years!'
"Pretty good, but you're still slicing. Shorten your backswing and start down with your left hip."
Tags:shepherd, shepherds, sport, sports, golf, golfing, golfer, golfers, golf course, golf courses, coach, coaches, coaching, training, trainer, trainers, instructions, advice, instructor, instructors, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, sheep, slicing, backswing, swing, golf swing, crook, crooks, golf club, golf clubs, teaching
"I don't know how the gods feel, but sacrificing financial advisors makes me feel happy."
Tags:sacrifice, sacrifices, sacrificing, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, god, gods, human sacrifice, human sacrifices, human sacrificing, volcano, volcanoes, crook, crooks, hated, hatred, hatreds, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, money manager, money managers, pariah, pariahs, social outcast, social outcasts, unpopular, unpopularity
"Invest? No offense, but I've read about you guys."
Tags:invest, invests, investment, investments, crook, crooks, investor, investors, hedge fund, hedge funds, hedge fund manager, hedge fund managers, criminal, criminals, thief, thieves, unsavory, unsavoury, distrust, distrusts, distrusting, distrustful, money manager, money managers, stock market, stock, stocks, stocks and bonds, bad reputation, bad reputations, reputation, reputations
"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."
Tags:pension, pensions, 401k, 401(k)thief, thieves, blackguard, blackguards, dishonest, dishonesty, shifty, liar, liars, con, cons, con man, con men, managers, crooks, crook, swindle, swindles, swindling, swindler, swindlers, head of pensions, investment, investments, retirement fund, retirement funds, retirement savings, retirement savings
"On the other hand, it's great to be out of Washington!"
Orca-nized crime - 'I want you to find Finny Dorsalni and make him sleep with the humans.'
"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."
Tags:money, financial crisis, cocktail party, stealing, crooks, banks, bankers, salary cap, salary caps, wage cap, wage caps, income cap, income caps, talent pool, talent pools, wall street, thief, thieves, white collar crime, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, salary, salaries, annual income, annual incomes, 1%, mankoff
'The cops came around earlier asking questions. I think they're on to us.'
'Your wallet's being stolen. It's good you came in when it first started bothering you. We've caught it early.'
"Hmmm...this old guy claims he found this crooked sixpence on a crooked stile while walking a crooked mile. He has a crooked cat, a crooked mouse, and they're all living in this little crooked house! Sergeant, I think we've found our crooked man!"
Pirate with a Shepherd's Crook for an Arm
Tags:animal, animals, sheep, lamb, lambs, flock, shepherd, shepherds, shepherd's crook, crook, crooks, hook, hooks, arm, arms, pirate, pirates, captain, captains, captain hook, new career, new job, changing careers, changing jobs, profession, professions, career, careers, job, jobs, professional, tool, tools
"Remember, as your lawyer, anything we discuss is confidential. And if you rat me out, I'll know where to find you."
"What? I'm not a crook. I obeyed every law I created!"
Tags:hitler, adolf hitler, adolph hitler, politician, politicians, dictator, dictators, crook, crooks, criminal, criminals, criminality, laws, obey, obeys, obeying, obeyed, defence, defences, defense, defenses, defend, defending, defends, comply, complies, compliance, fascist, fascists, fascist system, fascist systems, ruler, rulers
"That's our money! It never belonged to you. We're from the IRS and we'll do as we please."
'I got 10 years and my lawyer got 15!'
"Actually, I used to manage a hedge fund. Then one day I thought to myself; why not just cut to the chase?
"Then he said, 'Oh yeah, tough guy, well, what are you going to do about it?'"