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'Your honor, would you please instruct the witness to stop texting on his cell phone during my cross-examination!'
'These next few questions may make you a little uncomfortable. I hope they do. You look way too comfortable.'
'I blew the whistle on my second employer as soon as I got my second wind.'
'Cut! The witness hasn't been rehearsed.'
"We have testimony that you walk like a duck and you quack like a duck. Tell the court - are you a duck?"
'I'll answer the question provided you listen without interrupting, commenting or passing judgment.'
Legal cartoon about lying on the witness stand.
"And, sir, in your expert, professional opinion, was the victim already deceased when the defendant arrived at the scene?"
'I met a guy who seemed nice, although there was some conflicting testimony.'
"Wait! I know the answer!"
Cross-examination has come a long way.
'Do you honestly expect us to believe you're just the fall guy?'
'You say you saw my client do it. OK, but what if the jury doesn't believe you? Try to think outside the witness box.'
'As to being an accessory before or after the fact - were you in the 'enter' or 'delete' mode?'
'Since this is my first time in court, I wonder if it would be all right if my attorney got a couple of shots of me lying under oath.'
'Forget you're a lawyer, Fred. You're cross examining me again.'
'When the accident occured were you in complete control of the car?'
'Have you concluded your cross examination, Mr. Thomas?'
"So, you're saying that you went out that night but came back almost straight away?"