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Cross eyed and crossed pits
'Who and what are you?'
"How long did your mom make you sit in a corner?"
Man reading two books at once
'Yes, it's a big horn and useful when I charge, but it tends to make me cross-eyed...'
'He's the new cross-eyed teacher.The headmaster has sacked him, obviously he couldn't control his pupils!'
Principal at a desk has a sign on wall: Principal Emhoff Formerly The Crossed Eyed Girl Who Ate Chalk.