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Centipede with a broken leg
'Look, you've got to stop thinking that one little pill is going to solve all your problems...You need to take at least four, twice a day.'
Panhandler using crutch to hold up cup.
'As far as dancing goes, the doctor says you need to stay off my feet for 6-8 weeks.'
Mummy with a broken leg...
'I tried to slam a revolving door.'
What a coincidence! I'm a teacher in an inner-city comprehensive too.
'We've got 13 kids coming for a birthday party, so I need you to pick up some beverages. . . like a bottle of wine to fortify myself with in the kitchen closet.'
'He's a lot better! He's beginning to act like it was all my fault!'
'I tripped over one of those 'Caution Slippery Floor' signs.'
'I can't believe you just stood there and let the glacier run over your foot!'
Cat in bandages.
'Sidney's such a klutz. He broke his leg in three places -- Boston, Akron and Salt Lake City.'
'We have an Australian-based HMO, so the hospital sent Dan home in a Crutcharoo.'
Man with broken leg in car.
"When I asked you to get me man's best friend, I meant the corkscrew."
'I'm on a landline. Let me switch to my smartphone and I'll call you back. I'd rather not make a decision without my decision app.'
"As you won't be needing it any more, can I have your disability parking permit?"
Tags:jesus, christ, miracle, miracles, miraculous, heal, heals, healing, healing the sick, healing the lame, disabled, disability, disabilities, parking, parking permit, parking permits, handicapped, handicap, handicaps, handicapping, taking advantage, crutch, crutches, disability parking, disabled parking, handicap parking, handicapped parking
Cat in bandages and on a crutch.
Man stands by the backstage door selling medical equipment that can be used as an excuse to get in.
"Your husband appears to be OK, but he fractured his crutches."
'I'm meeting my boss here in about a half hour. Three more of these and I just might be able to tolerate him.'
"That's just the wine talking."
Tags:marital problem, marital problems, wedding anniversary, wedding anniversaries, married life, married couple, marriage anniversary, marriage anniversaries, wine, wines, drinking problem, drinking problems, crutch, crutches, drunk, drunks, alcohol problem, alcohol problems, wife, wives, husband, husbands
'Marie is still trying to get the hang of her power chair.'
'I'd like to quit drinking, but it's all I KNOW!'