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'That's the skip-forward button. Great for jumping to conclusions.'
"Just say Stamboat Bluffs Oktoberfest, 1953. He'll know who it is."
Tags:old age, age, ageing, aged, retired, retirement, little old lady, old lady, crystal, crystal ball, fortune, fortunes, fortune teller, mystic, mystics, psychic, psychics, seance, commune, communicate, occult, occult arts, fortune, future, ghost, ghosts, spirit, spirits, spirit world, spirit realm, wife, wives, flirt, memory, remember, remembered, remembering, memories, youth
Madame Borigard: Reader of the Occult - Derivatives & Credit Default Swaps Explained
Tags:derivatives, credit default, credit default swap, credit default swaps, explain, explained, explanation, explanations, fortune teller, fortune tellers, fortune telling, clairvoyant, clairvoyants, clairvoyancy, crystal, crystals, crystal ball, crystal balls, financial crisis, great recession, default, default swap, default swaps, market crash, housing, housing market, housing markets, investor, investors, investing
"I get the sense there's some large body of water you're longing to return to - not a lake, maybe a sea? Is it an ocean?"
Tags:psychic, psychics, fortune, fortune teller, mystic, mysticism, divination, diving, crystal ball, crystal, crystal balls, ocean, oceans, sea, sealife, marine, marine life, whale, whales, bogus, hoax, con, con artist, conned, cons, hoax, hoaxes, clairvoyant, obvious, obviously, beached, beach, beaches, beached whale, beached whales, state the obvious, states the obvious, stating the obvious
'But if you want the real lowdown, we'll need some of your DNA.'
"I'm sorry, Rudolph, but empathetic soulsource crystal navigation has made that nose of yours pretty much obsolete."
Tags:santa fe, new mexico, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, reindeer, rudolph, santa's workshop, the north pole, navigation, navigation system, navigation systems, gps, global positioning system, crystal, crystals, pseudoscience, hippy, hippies, unemployment, unemployed, laid off, laying off, lay off
"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."
Customs at the L.A. Airport
Tags:tourists, regional, travel, psychology, anger, stress, customs, la, l.a., los angeles, lax, california, californian, californians, east coast, new yorker, new age, skeptic, skeptics, skeptical, skepticism, past life, past lives, crystal, crystals, aromatherapy, flake, flakes, flaky, cliche, cliches
'What can I tell you, we're short-staffed.'
'Sorry it's taking so long to load. I'm still on dial-up.'
Mind reader: "You're thinking, 'This is really stupid...people can't read minds'." "How'd she know that?"
'...and you cannot change a thing, as you are completely controlled by your genes.'
I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.
"I see a great business relationship developing between you and someone named 'the Colonel'..."
"You're going to get the measles..."
'I only make predictions in retrospect.'
You Will Find a Nearby Restaurant!
Tags:mobile, mobiles, cell, cellphone, restaurant, fortune, teller, crystal, ball, future, fortunes, tellers, technology, smartphone, phone, phones, application, internet, mystic, magic, oracle, oracles, seer, seers, divination, palm, palms, reader, readers, map app, map application, map applications
'Hey, Frank.. are we interested in buying a window?'
'How do you want it - the crystal mumbo jumbo or the statistical probability?'
Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"
Alternative illnesses for alternative medicine.
Tags:alternative medicine, holistic medicine, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, illness, ill, sick, sickness, disease, diseases, karma, aura, auras, past-life, past-lives, reincarnation, crystal, crystals, healing, cure, cures, pseudoscience, superstition, superstitious, unscientific
'Your crystal ball has holes in it!' 'When business is bad I give bowling lessons!'