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"We are experiencing high call volume. Please do not hold."
Tags:cars, car, vehicle, vehicles, tires, tire, tyre, tyres, repairs, repairfix, fixed, mechanic, mechanics, flat tire, flat tires, flat tyre, flat tyres, flats, auto mechanic, auto mechanics, flat tires fixed, flat tyres fixed, spare tire, spare tires, spare tyre, spare tyres, business, businesses, customers, customer service, customer experience, genius bar, quality, product quality, sales, customer
"I want an aisle seat in no smoking, lots of fresh air, proper maintenance, no cracks in the fuselage - and none of your frigging bug spray!"
Tags:airport, airports, air travel, air travels, difficult customer, difficult customers, tricky customer, tricky customers, fussy customer, fussy customers, flight, flights, customer satisfaction, customer experience, customer experience, aisle seat, aisle seats, non-smoking, bug spray, big sprays, grump, grumpy, old lady, old ladies, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, pensioner, pensioners, old age, old-age
"Book me, seat me, treat me bad."
Tags:airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flight, flights, passenger, passengers, customer service, customer services, customer satisfaction, airport, airports, air travel, customer experience, customer experiences, booking, bookings, unhappy customers, dissatisfied customer, dissatisfied customers
'Could I just get a large coffee without the 'coffee experience'?'
"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."
Tags:training recording, training recordings, training tape, training tapes, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, helpline, helplines, help-line, help-lines, help line, help lines, customer service, customer services, customer satisfaction, customer experience, training purpose, training purposes, customer experience, customer experiences
"I don't get paid enough to speak up."
How Is Your Pain Today?
"I'll put you on the next flight, but first I have to type each of these keys ten million times."
Git It 'N' Git
"There, there, now! Perhaps I didn't give it a fair trial."
Tags:complaint, complaints, complaints department, complaints departments, returns policy, returns policies, returns, sympathy, customer service, customer services, customer experience, second chance, second chances, inconsolable, customer satisfaction, tantrum, tantrums, weeping, weepy, emotional, overly emotional, sensitive, sensitivity, taking things personally
"How about this: you don't take our order by memory and we won't forget to tip?"
Tags:tip, tips, tipper, tippers, tipping, tipped, waiter, waiters, server, servers, eating out, eat out, restaurant worker, restaurant workers, memorize, memorise, good memory, good memories, order, orders, ordering, food order, food orders, customer service, customer experience, customer satisfaction, difficult customer, difficult customers, tricky customer, tricky customers, tipping convention, tipping conventions
"Your agent is ready to look you in the eye now."
"This is customer support, or as we call it, the eighth circle of hell."
"Shlep your bags for you, ma'am?"
"Look, lady, we're not bad people - we're just really lousy at what we do."
"There's a customer-satisfaction questionnaire for you to fill out and for us to not look at and immediately throw away."
"I've overdrawn. To whom do I apologize?"
Tags:overdrawn, bank manager, bank managers, bank clerk, bank clerks, apology, apologies, apologize, apologizing, apologise, apologising, financial management, money management, money problem, money woes, money troubles, money problems, bad manners, good manners, customer, customer service, customer services, customer experience
"Frank here came up with the idea of billing customers for product and services we don't provide."
Tags:customer, customers, customer service, customer services, customer experience, unethical, business practice, business practices, customer satisfaction, con, cons, scam, scams, scamming, scammer, scammers, conmen, conman, con men, con man, scam artist, scam artists, con artist, con artists, business model, business models
"Hi! I'm Carl, from Amazon fulfillment. Would you mind telling us how you feel about your online shopping experience?"
"A large skim latte, double shot, no 'have an awesome day.'"
Central Bank: A Full Service Bank
"sir, this flight is overbooked and we need your seat. We can do this the easy way or...I can hit this ejection button."
Tags:overbook, overbooked, overbooking, aeroplane, aeroplanes, airplane, airplanes, plane, planes, air travel, customer experience, customer service, customer services, eject button, eject buttons, flight attendant, flight attendants, air hostess, air hostesses, stewardess, steward, stewards, air, flight, flights, passenger, passengers
"Your call is important to us, but not as important as this delicious cream donut with chocolate sprinkles that I'm about to eat..."
"Your happiness is our number one concern which is why I have to recommend that you NEVER buy ANY of our products."