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How Is Your Pain Today?
"If you could, please take our customer service survey and let them know how I did."
'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'
"If you don't mind, please take a moment to fill out this brief customer service survey...now...while we watch."
How's My Omnipotence? 1-800-CREATOR
'He's never happy when he gets less than 100% in his customer feedback!'
"Afterwards, you'll be receiving a survey. Anything less than a 10 is considered a failure."
"Fill out this survey and tell us how great we are and Randy won't follow you home."
"And as a final condition, you'll acknowledge here that despite prevailing in our battle of the bands showdown 18 years ago, you were totally outrocked by the Ted Gusten Experience."
"This food tastes funny!"
"No, I don't want to take a bloody survey!"
"I bet you have one eye on the clock, just counting down the time left on this service call!"
"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"
"Based on today's experience, how likely is it that you would recommend your arresting officer to friends and fellow villains?"
How's my billing? Dial 1-800-KA-CHING
'I guess it's not always a good idea to ask for customer feedback.'
"This man has a compliant with a pie brought to the company picnic."
Technical Performance Ranking, Consumer Satisfaction Survey, and Word on the Street.
'1 thru 4 got a 50% approval, 5 thru 8 60% and 9 & 10 only 15%.'
'The people are asking for clarification on 1 thru 3 and if there is any wiggle room on number 7.'
Hobson's Choice Surveys
"Our hacker is asking for feedback!"
"How did I find the meat? Well I eventually discovered it under a potato!"
"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."
"Do you think you could spare a few minutes to complete a survey on how well your marking went today?"