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"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."
'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'
'Acquisitions can be expensive, but with a few more, we can be done entirely with the cost of customer satisfaction.'
Complaints - Apologies
We just work here, & don't pass hidden cost unto anybody!
"It looks like United have been overbooking again!"
"I can't take the job in customer relations. I hate the customers. How can I possibly deal with their relatives?"
United Airlines passengers
"...and we're pleased to offer a complimentary glass of champagne to all those passengers who agree to go quietly in case of overbooking."
"Things might run smoother, Johnson, if you take the 'cuss' out of customer."
'Who do I complain to about you?'
"I just want to say how happy we are to have you as a new client. Respect for the customer is our obsession."
'The customer is King'
1999: The customer is always a right pain in the...
'Don't touch - it's still wet.'
Instant Coffee Barista: 'One spoon or two'
Working hard to maintain customer relations
All our pumps are self service, pay at the pump. I'm just here to provide a patina of customer care.
We're sorry, all lines are currently busy. Please continue holding for the next available recorded message.
Customer Relationship Management at Surf City Hospital
"How do we improve our image with customers?"
'... to leave a message, press 4... to speak to a live person, come to 414 Main Street, Room 1310 between 9 and 4... thank you.'
'My name is Andre and I could be your waiter this evening. We'll see how it goes.'
'I think the customers don't like my because sometimes I seem to be a bit strange. My dog says so, too.'