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"We are experiencing high call volume. Please do not hold."
"Although you've yet to try your water or even order an entree, how is everything?"
"I want an aisle seat in no smoking, lots of fresh air, proper maintenance, no cracks in the fuselage - and none of your frigging bug spray!"
"Book me, seat me, treat me bad."
'No. There's no one who works here by that name. Let me connect you to our branch office.'
West Side Saloon: 'Wow! What a Hangover!'
'Do you remember when all we had to do was look after people?'
A scene from the upcoming The Taking of Pelham 4-5-6.
"I don't get paid enough to speak up."
"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."
"She's asking if it's fresh-squeezed. Should I tell her to f**k off?"
How Is Your Pain Today?
"There, there, now! Perhaps I didn't give it a fair trial."
Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.
"How about this: you don't take our order by memory and we won't forget to tip?"
"Perhaps you're to blame for having unrealistic expectations."
"This is customer support, or as we call it, the eighth circle of hell."
"Your agent is ready to look you in the eye now."
"I demand to speak with the manager!"
"What does your mother have to do to get a drink around here?"
"Look, lady, we're not bad people - we're just really lousy at what we do."
Your Tip So Far
'My job is great since I never have to worry about Customer Satisfaction.'