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"Please stay on the line. All of our customer-service representatives are kidding around and throwing paper airplanes at each other."
"If you require immediate assistance, press the pound sign."
Summer Reads - Fall Reads!
"I can't take your message at the moment as I'm on a beach sipping a daiquiri, thank you for holding, your call is important to us."
"Where have all the retail sales jobs gone...gone to online sales every one..."
"I chose your bank for your personal service. I heard you'd even take me to the cleaners."
"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"
"No thanks. We're all sorted."
"Finally...shift's over. What a hard day."
"We found a way to turn our nastiest customers into really nice people."
"I'll have you know...when I deal with other parts stores, I don't have this problem."
"I'm sorry, sir, but you have the wrong number. Yes, I'm sure this is the wrong number. Listen, Mister...have I ever lied to you before?"
"Ugh...it's Mr. Martinez. He's always picking fights with all the clerks."
"How much are these?"
"Does this come with a guarantee?"
"Why the attitude? I just asked 'How was your weekend?'"
"How many auto parts stores do you think there are in this state?"
"$119? I can get this on the internet for $36!"
"How do we improve our image with customers?"
"We have a new item for our sales strategy list. After a customer asks how much it costs to have his tires rotated, you tell him $19.99."
"This is the customer care hot line. We make it a priority at Auto y Rod Inc. to put the customer first!"
"You guys have sold me wrong parts three times! Your ad says 'Auto y Rod employees are the friendliest experts in town.' What can we do about this?"
"I'm sorry...I need to speak with someone with a little authority around here."
"Baldo, in this business, customer service is everything. People know when you're lying! So the golden rule is always be sincere...where or not you mean it."
"Your total is $10.97 and this is only $6."