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'Yes, I suppose certain narrow-minded people would call it a ‘pack of lies' - I prefer to think of it as creative up-selling.'
'That's true. We did advertise for someone who 'works well under pressure'...'
'We did a background check on this guy and he came up squeaky clean... just what is he trying to hide anyway?'
'We're looking for managers that demonstrate high levels of emotional intelligence. Here, please try on this mood ring.'
Personnel: 'Next question, what was the reason for leaving your last job?' Reply: 'I got sick of being questioned about everything I did!'
'Vicious, intelligent and ruthless? Certainly. But I think my biggest asset is that I'm a survivor!'
'Mentoring requires many sophisticates qualities and skills...'
"Sorry about that resumé. I haven't had much call recently for words or math."
"I'm proud of that resumé but I'm sensing 'stickler for the truth'."
Tags:resume, resumes, cv, hr, human resources, personnel, job interview, job interviews, job candidate, job candidates, job applicant, job applicants, dishonest, dishonesty, stickler, sticklers, truth, truthness, honest, honesty, honestness, lie, lies, liar, liars, deception, deceptions, white lie, fib, fibs, white lies
"I've got some skills - I'm just not sure they add up to a 'set.'"
"Oh, Lord! Now we're getting resumes along with the Chinese menus."
Tags:business, businesses, small business, business owner, business owners, resumes, resume, cv, curriculum vitae, employment, employer, employers, employee, employees, unemployment, urban, flat, flats, apartment, apartments, chinese food, chinese food menu, menu, menus, food, foods, takeout, takeaway, delivery, restaurant, restaurants, fast food, marketing, advertising, advertisement, advertisements, ad, ads, mail, mailbox, junk mail, mailer, mailers, flyer, flyers, c/v, c/vs
Career Paths Inc.
If we hired the same way we elect...
How to tell it's still an employer's job market...
"We don't require you to suffer fools gladly, but it's very strongly encouraged."
"It's a fine résumé, but the best I can offer you right now is a cameo in accounting."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, hiring, hr, h.r., human resources, recruiting, recruiter, recruiters, recruitment, interview, interviews, job, jobs, position, positions, candidate, candidates, applicant, applicants, prospective, employee, employees, employment, unemployment, work, resume, resumes, cv, c.v., curriculum vitae, movie, movies, film, films, studio, studios, cameo, cameos, role, roles, accounting, best, agent, agents, agency, agencies, actor, actors, acting, talent, modern life
"I've been married for twenty years. How's that for conflict resolution?"
Tags:conflict resolution, strengths, weaknesses, interview, interviews, interviewing, cv, curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, office, offices, businessman, businessmen, business, businesses, executive, executives, husband, husbands, wife, wives, relationship, relationships, couple, couples, spouses, spouse, marriage, married
"We're looking for accounting resumés which scream, '…Hire me! I'll playalong'."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, applicant, applicants, candidate, candidates, cv, c.v., curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, job, jobs, hiring, accounting, accountant, accountants, playing along, cooperation, ethics, unethical, fraud, scandal, scandals, suspicious, questionable
"This is fine, General, but how are your typing skills?"
Tags:personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, applicant, applicants, candidate, candidates, cv, c.v., curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, job, jobs, experience, hiring, military, general, generals, typing skills, qualifications, skills, career change, career changes, changing careers, new job, new jobs, new career, new careers, modern life
"Sorry - we require at least three fake references."
"This has you as three feet tall but I don't see you as more than two and a half."
Tags:resume, resumes, interview, interviews, height, nit pick, nit picky, exaggerate, exaggerating, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog owner, dog owners, dog, dogs, pup, pups, puppy, puppies, animal, animals, cv, curriculum vitae, office, offices, businessman, businessmen, business, businesses, executive, executives
"I see by your resume that you've got a big problem with formatting."
Tags:cv, curriculum vitae, curriculum vitaes, resume, resumes, job application, job applications, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, modern technology, modern technology, formatting, text formatting, under qualified, under-qualified, unqualified, bad interview, bad interviews, computer skills, out of touch, behind the times
'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'
"I was the first in my family to lie about going to college."
"I see by your resumé that you're my daughter's kitty."