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Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, liquor, booze, cocktail, cocktails, frank, franks, hot dog, hot dogs, wurst, sausage, sausages, frankfurter, frankfurters, wiener, wieners, relish, pun, puns, wordplay, word play, dad joke, dad jokes
"Morton's on the cutting edge of pooped."
"Welcome to an evening of doo-wop! Just kidding, folks. Now for the Berlioz."
"Someday, Son, this remote will be yours."
"His drink, the nut bowl and his bank account are all empty."
The Christmas Cleanup
Tags:dad joke, dad jokes, leaf blower, leaf blowers, leaf blowing, christmas, holiday, holidays, clean, cleaning, cleanup, present, presents, gift, gifts, wrapping paper, father, fathers, dad, dads, fatherhood, fathering, son, sons, kid, kids, child, children, childhood, family, families, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, daughter, daughters
"Ugh, stop it, Dad- everyone knows you're not making this happen!"
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, dad, dads, father, fathers, dad joke, dad jokes, bad joke, bad k jokes, embarrass, embarrassing, embarrassment, embarrassments, wizard, wizards, space shuttle, space shuttles, take off, take-off, space exploration, technology, modern technology, modern technologies, father and daughter, father and daughter, rocket, rockets, space rocket, space rockets
"They may be your grades, but they're the return on my investment."
Tags:dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, dad joke, dad jokes, grades, grade, marks, marks, exam result, exam results, return on investment, investment, narcissistic dad, narcissistic dads, narcissistic father, narcissistic fathers, narcissistic parent, narcissistic parents, taking the credit, take the credit, reflected glory, child, children, son, sons, father son relationship, school grades
"Will I lose my hare?"
Tags:medical, hair, hare, pun, puns, hare, hares, bunny, bunnies, rabbit, rabbits, balding, hair loss, doctor, doctors, md, mds, m.d.s, m.d., gp, gps, g.p.s, g.p., general practitioner, general practitioners, medical check up, medical check ups, clinic, clinics, doctors clinic, doctors clinics, doctor's clinic, doctor's clinics, hospital, hospitals, doctors appointment, doctors appointments, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointments, physician, physicians, men, man, dad joke, dad jokes
My Father's Favorite Yiddish Joke
"And then Winnie the Pooh decided that it was time to check Daddy's e-mail again."
Tags:story, stories, bedtime, father, fathers, son, sons, dad, dads, fatherhood, parent, parents, parenthood, parenting, kid, kids, child, children, email, multitasking, tablet, computer tablet, excuse, excuses, workaholic, making things up, changing the story, father's day, reading, bedtime story, bedtime stories, dad joke, dad jokes
Tags:bear, bears, dad, dads, father, fathers, scold, scolds, scolding, discipline, disciplines, disciplinarian, disciplinarians, dad joke, dad jokes, soundalike, soundalikes, sounds like, dead, safety tip, safety tips, play dead, plays dead, playing dead, play possum, playing possum, plays possum, pretend, pretends, pretending, pretender, pretenders
Ed's Salary Cap
Tags:salary, salaries, salary cap, salary caps, pay, income, money, finances, personal finances, fashion, cap, caps, hat, hats, baseball cap, baseball caps, baseball hat, baseball hats, per annum, annual salary, rich, wealthy, bragging, brag, boast, boasting, wordplay, word play, pun, puns, dad joke, dad jokes
"Put the punster in with the mime."
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, underworld, hell, devil, devils, demon, demons, hades, lucifer, satan, sinner, sinners, punishment, punishments, pun, puns, punster, punsters, mime, mimes, joke, jokes, bad joke, bad jokes, dad joke, dad jokes, joker, jokers, comedian, comedians, comic, comics
"Yo, Greg!" "Hey, Warren!"
"Just a warning, kids. Uncle Paul's been stockpiling puns and he's not afraid to use them."
Tags:pun, puns, humor, humour, joke, jokes, joker, jokers, dad joke, dad jokes, bad pun, bad puns, bad joke, bad jokes, warn, warns, warning, caution, cautions, cautioning, family visit, family visits, relative, relatives, uncle, uncles, family get-together, family get-togethers, thanksgiving, christmas, extended family, extended families
'Why was there a mattress in that ditch?'
"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."
Tags:family photo, family photos, dad joke, dad jokes, voting, good photo, bad photo, bad photos, good photos, father, fathers, dad, dads, fatherhood, fathering, kid, kids, child, children, childhood, family, families, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, daughter, daughters, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, mothering, picture, pictures, camera, cameras, phone, phones, smartphone, smartphones
"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."
'Your father says he'll stop wearing his pants like that when you do.'
"Ha ha ha...here's to your elf!"
Tags:santa claus, santa, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, father christmas, christmas, yuletide, north pole, elf, elves, santa's elves, santa's workshop, santa's workshops, christmas dinner, christmas dinners, bad joke, bad jokes, zinger, zingers, pun, puns, tradition, traditions, family, dad joke, dad jokes
'Sure I know what it's like to be in labor. I was once a union steward.'
"Your father was only joking. The Tooth Fairy only takes teeth that have already fallen out."
Tags:tooth fairy, tooth fairies, missing tooth, missing teeth, tooth, teeth, fall out, falls out, falling out, fallen out, lost a tooth, lost teeth, threat, threats, perceived threat, perceived threats, joke, joking, father, fathers, dad, dads, dad joke, dad jokes, lie, lies, kid, kids, kidding, tease, teases, teasing
"Ed is not himself today."
Tags:not himself, not yourself, disguise, disguises, disguising, in disguise, jester, jesters, jester outfit, jester outfits, court jester, court jesters, out of sorts, out of it, grumpy, in a grump, in a funk, novelty disguise, novelty glasses, silly disguise, silly disguises, dad joke, dad jokes, dad humor, dad humour
'My dad's favourite joke is: "listen very carefully, I will say this only fifty times"...'
Tags:animal, parrot, parroting, telling jokes, dad jokes, dad joke, old jole, old jokes, family life, parrots, sense of humour, mimic, mimics, talking bird, talking birds, favorite joke, favorite jokes, jokes, father, repeat, repetition, favourite joke, favourite jokes, favorite joke, favorite jokes, repeating, dad, dads