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"Just remember, son, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose - unless you want Daddy's love."
Tags:dad, dads, daddy, daddies, proud parent, proud parents, pushy parent, pushy parents, ambition, ambitions, competitive, competitiveness, father, fathers, family life, family-life, kid, kids, childhood, baseball, baseball player, baseball players, baseball game, baseball games, baseball match, baseball matches, pushy, love, winner, winners, high expectation, disappointment, disappointments
"Daddy is fiscally buff."
"Are we gonna have to scrape the Daddy decal off the minivan?"
Tags:divorce, divorces, break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, split up, splitting up, split ups, split-up, split-ups, separation, separations, decal, decal, car sticker, car stickers, bumper sticker, bumper stickers, priorities, bad priorities, wrong priorities, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, child rearing, kid, kids, child, daddy, daddies, dad, dads, father, fathers
"Never be ashamed of our wealth, Timmy. Daddy lived a long time to inherit it."
'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'
'What's that smell?' 'Well, it's either fertilizer, a factory, or your father.'
"Finish your breakfast, honey, and then we'll go drop Daddy off at jail."
Tags:dad, dads, daddy, daddies, jail, jails, breakfast, breakfasts, prison, prisons, day release, day releases, prisoner, prisoners, jailer, jailers, crimes, criminal, criminals, day job, day jobs, father, fathers, school run, school runs, white collar crime, convict, convicts, conviction, convictions
"This is Daddy, honey. That was Daddy's office voice."
Tags:office, voice, voices, voice change, codeswitch, codeswitches, codeswitching, code switch, code switches, code switching, linguistic, linguistics, linguistic change, linguistic changes, identity, daughter, daughters, work, work voice, dad, dads, father, fathers, daddy, daddies, parent, parents, recognize, recognizes, recognition, recognise, recognises, voice alteration, disguise, disguises, disguising
'No, sweetie, 'embracing a new paradigm' doesn't mean daddy's been hugging someone other than your mother.'
My dad is the bravest.
"If it's important to you, Jessica. It's important to daddy, but I don't think it's important to you."
Father's Day discussion between mom and son.
Frankenstein's monster does Father's Day.
'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'
'Don't bother your father. Let him enjoy his Father's Day.'
In Case of Emergency Break Glass.
'I just wanted to thank you for grounding me to my room for the weekend. I took the time to start a computer programming company, which earned me $13 million.'
'It's easy to slag off other people's work, much harder to do better yourself...so Daddy's made a career out of slagging off other people's work.'
"We've already got that model."
Tags:fathers day sale, father's day sale, fathers day sales, father's day sales, father, fathers, dad, dads, toilet, toilets, bathroom, bathrooms, made to order, daddy, daddies, blow out sale, blow out sales, big sale, big sales, casual, casualness, overly casual, too casual, upgrade, upgrades, upgrading
'It's too bad they don't give a grade for courage. You'd get an 'A' for bringing this thing home.'
"Mommy, Mommy—Skippy's found Daddy!"
Tags:dark humor, black humor, dark humour, black humour, dig up, digs up, digging up, shallow grave, shallow graves, grave, graves, grave robber, grave robbers, dad, dads, father, fathers, dog, dogs, daddy, daddies, parent, parents, widow, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, killer, killers, killing, killings
"Thank you, honey, for your vote of confidence in our parenting decisions."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mommy, mommies, mum, mums, mummy, mummies, mother, mothers, motherhood, dad, dads, daddy, daddies, father, fathers, fatherhood, art, artist, artists, young artist, young artists, painting, paintings, painter, painters, vote of confidence, greeting card, greeting cards, card, cards, love, gift, gifts, present, presents, parenting decisions, parenting choices, modern parenting, modern parents, modern parenthood, modern life, family, families, loving family, loving families