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Extremely Lactose Intolerant
'Allergy Cafe - All you can Tolerate.'
"Soy milk, soy burgers... Imagine being replaced by a bean!"
'The good news is you're going to live, the bad news is you're allergic to cheese.'
"No...being lacrosse intolerant does not mean you're impatient because you lack toes."
"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."
If Earth had been more tolerant, the planet Lactose would not have invaded.
"It looks like there is too much dairy in your diet."
"I'm lactose intolerant."
"Everytime I sneeze milk squirts out my nose. I must be lactose intolerant."
'Couldn't you just say you're lactose-intolerant?'
'Soy milk, soy burgers...who ever thought we could be replaced by a bean.'
"I got a ticket in California for asking a lactose intolerant woman to say cheese, before taking her picture."
"This increase in lactose-intolerant people is good for us: We can sell more milk..."
"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave - all of our other customers are lactose intolerant."
"I'm sorry Clara, it's over.....the Vet says I'm allergic to Dairy!"
"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"
"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"