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"Everything's more fun with Muppets!"
Tags:execution, executions, children's show, children's shows, childrens show, childrens shows, kid, kids, audience, audiences, child, children, inappropriate, cute, evil, fun, guillotine, capital punishment, death penalty, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, lighten up, lightening up, shock, offense, offence
Orchestra Arranged As Normal Excluding Man At Back With Gun To His Head
Tags:classical, classical music, musician, musicians, musical, orchestra, orchestras, orchestral, wind, wind instrument, instrument, instruments, section, sections, violin, violins, violinist, percussion, percussive, exotic instrument, orchestra pit, pit, pits, gun, suicide, suicidal, tension, tense, mental health, mental health issues, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, tragic, tragedy
"And now let's welcome, for the first and last time . . ."
Tags:execution, executions, execute, executes, executing, modern life, capital punishment, guest, guests, talk show, talk shows, talk show host, talk show hosts, commodify, commodifies, commodification, death penalty, state murder, state murders, state-sanctioned murder, anti-death penalty, late night talk show, late night talk shows, dark humor, dark humour
"I'm well aware that being dead and buried has weakened my position in the corporation."
Tags:dead, status, status update, status updates, coffin, coffins, funeral, funerals, corporation, corporations, corporate mentality, corporate mentalities, weakened position, weakened positions, demotion, demote, demotes, demoted, demotions, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, executive, executives, dark humor, dark humour
"If it's any consolation, toward the end he was high as a kite."
Tags:console, consoles, consolation, consolations, death bed, death beds, high, marijuana, weed, medical marijuana, medical cannabis, cannabis, morphine, liquid morphine, dark humor, death, dying moment, dying moments, bedside manner, dark humour, high as a kite, cheerful, comforting words, hospice, hospice care, hospice worker, hospice workers, palliative, palliative care
"I may have waffled, but I never lip-synched."
Tags:hell, underworld, devil, devils, devilish, satan, satanic, death, dead, music, musicians, communicate, communication, communicating, communicates, dishonest, dishonesty, ethical, ethics, ethic, moral, morals, morality, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour, lip-synch, lip-synching, lipsynch, lipsynching
"And sign here if you'd like to see his organs become more involved in community theatre."
Monuments 'n' Stuff
Tags:storefront, storefronts, name, names, monument, monuments, grave, graves, headstone, headstones, cemetery, cemeteries, disrespect, disrespects, disrespecting, undertaker, undertakers, mortuary, mortuaries, dark humor, black humor, dark humour, black humour, tombstone, tombstones, respect for the dead, show respect, shows respect, showing respect, consumer, consumer culture, consumerism, death, die, dies, dying, retailer, retailers, window shop, window shops, window shopping, modern life, modern times
"That was the perfect amount of food – I feel full, but not fatted for the slaughter."
"No, you die first."
Tags:dead, death, dying, die, dies, died, love, loving, romance, romantic, play on words, word play, word-play, deathbed, death bed, last words, last word, dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, phone, phones, conversation, conversations, lovey dovey, lovey-dovey, gushing, gush, girl, girly, twist, twists, twisted, date, dates, dating, things we do for love, doomed love, extreme, extreme feelings, no you, no you hang up
"I think we may be witnessing a defining moment in his presidency."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, death, dead, shooting, weapon, weapons, firearm, firearms, gun, guns, gun control, firearms regulation, gun violence, gun crime, president, presidents, defining moment, defining moments, witness, witnesses, witnessing, violence, violent, crime, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"You have brought sunshine to my life and now I must say good-bye."
Tags:gun, guns, pistol, pistols, colt, colts, shoot, shot, shoots, shooting, toaster, toasters, toasted, appliance, appliances, kitchen, kitchens, kitchenette, suicide, suicidal, invert, inverted, subvert, subverted, dark, dark humor, black humor, black humour, dark humour, grim, grimdark, goodbye, goodbyes, death, dead, die, died, dying
"Bring in another!"
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, horror, horrific, cannibal, cannibals, cannibalize, cannibalizes, cannibalizing, cannibalise, cannibalises, cannibalising, eat, eats, eating, child, children, kid, kids, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, dark humor, black humor, dark humour, black humour, christmas, christmas season, monster, monsters, monstrous, evil, demonic, demon, demons
"O.K. That covers the last meal. Now, which would you prefer, hanging, electrocution, or lethal injection?"
Tags:prison, prisons, jail, jails, incarceration, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, prisoner, prisoners, criminal, criminal, crime, punishment, punishments, capital punishment, death penalty, officer, officers, guard, guards, jailer, jailers, prison guard, prison guards, note, notes, questionnaire, questionnaires, survey, surveys, data collection, last meal, last meals, meal, meals, food, hanging, electrocution, lethal injection, execution, executions, methods of execution, condemned, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"
"...And then we have the 'Terrorist Special' where you're shot in the head and then dumped at the airport of your choice."
Tags:terrorist, terrorists, terror attack, terror attacks, war zone, travel warning, travel warnings, war zones, tourist attraction, tourist attractions, travel agent, travel agents, travel agency, travel, travel company, vacation, holiday, holidays, vacations, airport, airplane, aeroplane, pilot, excursions, dark tourist, tourist, tourism, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, terrorism
"Confound it, staff knows this door's to be kept locked!"
Tags:dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, hunting, hunter, hunters, high society, rich, the rich, rich people, rich man, big game hunting, big game, big game hunter, trophy, trophies, trophy hunting, human, human head, gore, gory, fear, horror, classic horror, shock, shocking, strange, surreal, imagery, wall, walls, mansion, mansions, haunted, haunted house, halloween
A gravestone with an epitaph that reads "It's just a cold".
Tags:death, dead, cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, tombstone, tombstones, headstone, headstones, gravestone, gravestone, grave, graves, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, misdiagnosis, diagnosis, cold, colds, common cold, malpractice, medical malpractice, mistake, mistakes, error, errors, black humour, black humor, dark humour, dark humor
"The good news is it's the size of a baseball."
Tags:tumour, tumours, tumor, tumors, baseball, baseballs, sport, sports, sportsman, sporting, base ball, the game, last inning, final inning, terminal, doctor, doctors, medicine, medicines, good news, bad news, good news and bad news, apt, appropriate, hospital, hospitals, gallows humor, black humor, dark humor, gallows humour, black humour, dark humour, get well, get well soon
"Something collarless. I'm being guillotined."
Tags:shopping, shop, store, stores, fashion, fashionable, sales, salesclerk, salesman, salesperson, men, men's clothing, clothing, clothes, style, styles, trend, trendy, trending, execute, execution, death, death sentence, sentenced to death, guillotine, guillotined, behead, beheaded, dark humour, dark humor, black humour, black humor
"That liver went to someone who doesn't have such a big yap."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, sick, sickness, ill, illness, transplant, transplants, liver, organ, organs, organ donation, organ donor, organ donors, angry, anger, annoyed, annoying, big mouth, big mouth, talkative, offensive, insulting, loudmouth, loudmouths, rude, transplant list, transplant lists, dying, lost, ineligible, bias, prejudice, insensitive, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"He was doing just fine till he choked on one of those flexible straws."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, waiting room, waiting rooms, waiting area, waiting areas, icu, intensive care unit, i.c.u., death, choking, choked, straw, straws, plastic straw, plastic straws, flexible, drinking straw, drinking straws, drink, drinks, drinking, bad news, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, dead husband, dead husbands, widow, widows, mourning, grieving, bereaved, hospital food, hospital meals, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"When you get a chance, remember to ask God the meaning of life-it's a riot."
Tags:meaning of life, god, joke, jokes, funny, hilarious, almighty, angel, angels, cynic, cynics, cynical, outlook, outlooks, life philosophy, life philosophies, prank, pranks, prankster, pranksters, laugh riot, laugh riots, laugh, laughs, laughing, laughter, dark joke, dark jokes, dark humor, dark humour
"I have to be getting back - I'm the glue that holds my parents' marriage together."
"That get-well card we sent certainly was a waste of money."