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'Wow! The earache I've had for three weeks is gone!'
Conspiracy Theories $10
'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'
Tags:wolf, sheep, animals, wolves, date, dating, double date, love, bar, darts, animal, drink, drinking, risks, risk, wingman, lookout, friend, dart, favor, friendship, mistake, mismatch, mismatched, mismatches, problem, wool, teeth, man, woman, men, women, courting, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"I'm all for taking away the darts and giving him back his car keys."
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, bartender, bartenders, server, servers, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, drunk, impaired, tipsy, inebriated, dart, darts, sport, sports, game, games, throwing darts, impale, stab, impaled, stabbed, stuck, car key, car keys, give back, dangerous, bad idea, bad ideas, complaint, complaints, complaining, complain, out of control, out-of-control
'How are those revised projections coming along?'
'Unfortunately, your insurance only provides one dart this year.'
'Try these relaxation methods. If they don't work, I'll prescribe a tranquilizer dart.'
'Frustrated by Jim's reluctance to take his high blood pressure medicine, Tracy took things into her own hands.'
'I picked up this little trick on my holiday to New Guinea.'
"Let's see, where should Jerry hurt today?"
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, life after death, heaven, god, gods, mornings, target, targets, bulls-eye, bulls-eyes, bullseye, bullseyes, bulls eye, bulls eyes, dart, darts, injury, injuries, hurt, pain, painful, ache, aches, aching, hurting, thunderbolt, thunderbolts, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, random pains, random aches, health, fitness
'It's okay that you missed the bullseye. What's important is that you always aimed high.'
'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'
The Do/Don't Decision Makers.
The best place for a dartboard is not beside an open window.
'Before I throw can you tell me if my feet are behind the line?'
"Therapy dog? Who's getting the therapy here?"
'Actually, we're just drawing up the short list for that particular job right now. . .'
Lawn darts never took off in Heaven
"O.K., next we cut home-heating aid."
'So what do we have here?' - dart board says, Take the Day Off, Ignore the Loser,Do What the Goof Says, and Act Interested.
Society of Acupuncturists Darts Tournaments.
'You have bullseye rash. take this medicine twice a day and stay away from dart games.'
Woke up an hour later, cavity filled, teeth cleaned. (woman has shot man with a tranquiliser dart).