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Data analysts realize their smart building has OCD.
The birth of the data mining industry (circa 1880): 'I ain't sure what it is, Clyde, but there's a vein of it as wide as yer Aunt Tillie!'
"Well, enough of the coy sexual byplay Bobby. I've got to dive back into the data stream."
Tags:coffee bar, coffee bars, lunchbreak, lunch break, lunch breaks, sexual byplay, flirtation, flirtations, flirting, office romance, office romances, workplace romance, workplace romances, data stream, date, dates, office flirtation, workplace flirtation, it tech, computer tech, data analyst, data analysts, data clerk, data clerks
'We're beginning to see some positive patters in the emerging data.'
"Well, we're waiting. See any patterns emerging?"
Tags:data analysis, data, analysis, analytics, businessmen, businessman, boardroom, boardrooms, board, boards, exec, execs, executive, executives, pattern, patterns, emerging pattern, emerging patterns, data analyst, data analysts, business meeting, business meetings, quarterly report, quarterly reports, profit, profits, graph, graphs, chart, charts, performance, review, reviews, sales report, sales reports, profit report, profit reports
"So, how can we explain this dip in productivity which seems to happen every Wednesday?"
Tags:troubleshooters, troubleshooters, data analyst, data analysts, data analysis, productivity level, productivity levels, work ethic, employee, employees, employer, employers, hangover, hangovers, hungover, problem solvers, crisis meeting, boss, employer, employers, meeting room, line graph, presentation, employee health
Department of Pure Speculation.
"I feel that showing my family data reveals more than a mere photograph can convey."
'I'm graphing the likelihood of me keeping this New Year's resolutions based on all of my previous resolutions. It doesn't look good for me.'
Tags:data analyst, data analysts, data analysis, new year, new years, new year's resolution, new year's resolutions, new years resolution, new years resolutions, goal, goals, ambition, ambitions, forecast, forecasts, prediction, predictions, behaviourial patterns, behavioral patterns, fresh start, fresh starts
"I did a quick search for my lost requirements documents and I found them right away, but how do I get rid of the ads now?"
Tags:online advertising, online advertisements, online ads, internet ads, data, data collection, data privacy, big data, big-data, business requirements, data requirements, business intelligence, office workers, computers, internet, data analytics, data analysis, data analysts, requirements document, browser data, browser history, browser cache, browser cookies, data cookies, internet cookies
"Now, in order to view this quarter's data correctly, you'll need to put on these rose-tinted glasses in front of you."
Tags:sales chart, sales charts, sales graph, sales graphs, sales report, sales reports, profit, profits, profit chart, profit charts, quarterly report, quarterly reports, rose-tinted glasses, rose tinted glasses, data, data analysis, data analyst, data analysts, economic downturn, economic downturns
Had volumes of data at my fingertips and still didn't see this one coming.
'I think we could understand this better if it were a pie chart.'
Man and woman speaking in different data chart languages.
Tags:data analysis, data analyst, data analysts, data chart, data charts, data graph, data graphs, business analysis, business analyst, business analysts, businessmen, businessman, businesswomen, businesswoman, business jargon, data jargon, analytics, communication, communications, graph, graphs, chart, charts
"We have lots of information technology. We just don't have any information."
'Having conducted a comprehensive analysis of dozen of subsets of data from a wide range of sources we've confirmed that the likely answer is 36...now we just need to identify the question.'
John goes through a breakup with his data analyst girlfriend.
"I felt like 'data analyst' sounded better than 'good guesser'."
"Joan, I need you to prepare an objective analysis proving I'm correct."
Tags:data analysis, biased, biases, data analyst, data analysts, report, reports, objectiveness, bias, analyst, analysts, analysis, objectivity, impartial, impartiality, skewed numbers, skewed, biased, cover your ass, cya, c.y.a., skewered data, fake data, manipulating the figures, manipulating data
Maid vaccuums data spill.
Valley of Big Data
"I see you're still fishing for that key piece of data."
Data Entry Marathon
'You know when people have been good or bad - you'd be perfect for our data mining team!'