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'I went through the data and found an 11.7% increase in the discretionary spending portion of our family budget, so I see no reason not to raise my allowance.'
'...so went to school to become a data scientist and was replaced by an algorithm."
'Crusher' Collins: Data custodian by day, data bouncer by night.
"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"
"We tried crowdsourcing the data, but the crowd turned into an angry mob and threw bogus data at us."
"Maybe we're taking the wrong approach to traffic data gathering..."
"I just can't be with someone who won't express their emotions as viable data."