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"No, I'm not backing up our files–I'm just assuming that the F.B.I. is making copies."
Tags:computer, computers, file, files, computer file, computer files, save, back-up, back-ups, back up, back ups, backup, backups, backing up, document, documents, copy, copies, business, businessman, businessmen, corporate, executive, executives, criminal, criminals, corporation, corporations, company, companies, database, databases, data, fbi, federal bureau of investigations, f.b.i., feds, federal government, nsa, national security agency, n.s.a., security, privacy, intelligence agency, intelligence agencies, spy, spying, spies, invasion of privacy, internet privacy, computer privacy, internet security, technology, surveillance, under surveillance, shady, suspect, suspicious
"There! I've deleted you from my database!"
'Another advantage of switching to electronic health records is that it will make your indecipherable handwriting obsolete.'
"Bob? Bob Henderson? I'd recognize that face from my extensive database anywhere!"
Tags:robot, robots, database, databases, facial recognition, facial recognition software, cctv, cctv camera, cctv cameras, surveillance, surveillance culture, surveillance state, state surveillance, privacy, invasion of privacy, invasions of privacy, recognise, recognize, recognition, recognising, recognizing, recognise that face, recognize that face
'Good news, when we transferred your medical history to our digital system, it suddenly became legible.'
"Sorry, bub. You're not database."
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, heaven, heaven's gate, entrance to heaven, entering heaven, st. peter's gate, saint peter's gate, pearly gates, st. peter, saint peter, angel, angels, technology, computer, computers, database, databases, data, bureaucracy, bureaucrat, bureaucrats
Information vs. confusion
Electronic records will prolong consultations...
'You were a shoo-in. Then I stumbled across your blog.'
Medical Data Base of Useful Information, 5K. Medical Data base of useless information, 500,000,000 MB.
Your country needs YOUR personal data!
'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of random kindness, organized our student files.'
Your privacy is important to us...
"Please visit our website and tell us about your experience with this sale. You can win a gift card good for a free glass of lemonade."
'I have here a list of websites you failed to delete from your hard drive...'
'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'
This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.
'This problem has been my life's work. I planned to devote my remainig years to it. It's just been solved in four seconds.'
'Now don't panic. Not everything was erased. We still have loads of data on rainfall, upholstery and jaywalking.'
'True, we don't give out personal information, but every once in a while, the computer takes it upon itself to spill the beans.'
'If we're interested, we'll have our database contact your database.'
'I have millions of answers...how about a few questions.'
QuackBooks (duck finds a computer error).