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"My preference is for someone who's afraid of closeness, like me."
'Can't be high-maintenance, but she must have class. Economy class.'
'Actually, that means English as a second language...the elephant singles bar is across the street!'
'There, Mr. Jason. You are now entered into our computer.'
"The dating agency said you wanted someone who could make you laugh!"
'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'
"I was told by the dating agency that you`ve got letters after your name!"
"Rugged romantic seeks elegant lady. Must like hunting and gathering"
Nihilist Dating Agency - for people with nothing in common.
'I didn't say I had a house and garage! I said I liked house and garage!'
'Pinocchio, under the 'would like to meet' section you've put 'fun-loving brunette made of oak'. This may prove difficult.'
'Flowers, dinner, and a movie, and that's my last offer!'
'Since tax laws favor marrieds, I decided to give it a shot.'
'... And as you're a health and safety officer, we'll rule out anyone who says they 'like to live dangerously'.'
'By the way, I usually sneeze in twos. So that's another interesting thing about me.'
'I doubt if we'll be going out together again, so how about a garlic pizza?'
To help his date recognize him from their online chats, Burt wore his PC monitor helmet.
"The last one was clearly incompatible - she didn't think a shelled walnut resembled a human brain."
'I'd like to meet a girl--', 'Oh, a homophobe, eh?'
"Sorry, my mistake, I thought the dating agency said, 'a plain speaking man', 'bye."
'Do you scan them for viruses?'
"May I take a look at this one outside in the daylight?"
'Shall we get comfortable Helen?'