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"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."
"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"
'Here's a certificate you don't have yet.'
"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."
"You must be doing well, dear, look, the doctor's given you a certificate."
'I asked to see your birth certificate. This is your death certificate.'
"Sorry I'm late, but it took them a week to determine that I was legally dead."
"Waiter... This roast chicken. Can I see it's death certificate please?"
"You see son, this way we are the first to know?"
'I'm very proud of what he achieved during his life.'
'Your test results have come in and, as we feared, you're dead.'
'You should have come to me sooner.' (doctor)
'Hasn't anyone ever been cured of natural causes?'
'We still need a copy of your husbands death certificate.'
'The good news is that his temperature has dropped. The bad news is that sadly by far too much. . .'
Suicide point/death certificate vending machine.
'Seriously, what if I don't have my death certificate or a photo I.D.?'
"Nothing but junk mail and a death certificate."
"Seriously, what if I don't have my death certificate and a photo I.D.?"