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'You deducted whoopie cushions as a business expense Just what kind of business are you in, Mr, Quincy'
'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'
'It was the perfect crime, until I deducted my burglar tools as a business expense.'
'I have only one deduction to make...you're lying!'
'I'm giving you that company car you've been bugging me about. The car cost $21,745, which will be gradually taken out of your pay starting friday.'