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'Yes Sir, I finished the report two days ago - I'm just trying to decide on what font to use.'
'I've had to book my appointment two weeks in advance, so we'll both sit here until I feel unwell.'
A criminal dances for a police officer in an attempt to delay being put into jail.
Tags:police, policeman, policemen, police officer, police officer, cop, cops, jail, jails, prison, prisons, criminal, criminals, arrested, locked up, incarceration, imprisoned, delay, delays, delaying, avoiding, avoidance, putting off, inevitable, distracting, distraction, distractions, unsuccessful, procrastination, procrastinating, stalling
"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."
Tags:parking, city parking, bad parking, driving, driver, drivers, city life, city living, urban life, dinner party, dinner parties, modern life, late, delay, delays, delayed, modern times, cocktail party, cocktail parties, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, guest, guests, dinner guest, dinner guests
"Now you can send it."
Tags:letter, letters, message, messages, message in a bottle, messages in a bottle, perfectionist, perfectionists, perfectionism, writer, writers, writing, desert island, desert islands, author, authors, editor, editors, critic, critics, own worst critic, own worst critics, spouse, spouses, frustration, frustrations, frustrate, frustrates, frustrating, annoying, pedant, pedants, pedantic, husband, husbands, wife, wives, delay, delays, delaying, sos, s.o.s., help, helps, send for help, sending for help, draft, drafts, drafting, rough draft, rough drafts, revise, revises, revising, revision, revisions, too much coffee man
'If I cancel an hour before my appointment, you charge me. I've just waited an hour past my appointment time in your waiting room. This is my bill.'
"The crew is getting restless, captain."
Tags:ship, ships, ship in a bottle, ships in bottles, restless, restlessness, stationary, bored, boring, boredom, complain, complaining, stuck, motionless, delayed, delay, delays, impatient, impatience, bad conditions, rough sea, rough seas, ships crew, ship's crew, ship's captain, ships captain, boat, boats, maritime art
A flighttime story
'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'
"I'm running late—some people were waiting for my table so I had to take my sweet time."
Tags:eating out, dining out, restaurant, selfish, selfishness, self centered, self-centered, self centred, self-centred, delay, delays, delaying, delayed, late, late for work, running late, waiting for a table, busy restaurant, crowded restaurant, rude, rudeness, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, rude, rudeness
"It will be your job to create major delays."
Tags:construction, construction delay, construction delays, delay, delays, highway, highways, motorway, motorways, traffic, traffic jam, traffic jams, traffic congestion, construction worker, construction workers, construction work, roadwork, roadworks, hold up traffic, holding up traffic, construction problems, construction issues, traffic problems, traffic issues, driving, commuting
"Your pilot is still de-icing."
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, pilot, pilots, captain, captains, de-icing, deicing, weather, bad weather, snowstorm, snowstorms, snow, snowing, ice, de-ice, deice, cold, winter, wintertime, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, liquor, booze, drunk, drunks, drunk driving, drunk driver, drunk drivers, dangerous driving, dangerous driver, dangerous drivers, dangerous, risky, delay, delays, delayed
"Gentlemen, it's time we gave some serious thought to the effects of global warming."
Tags:global warming, floods, washington, water, pollution, thought, serious, environment, politics, incompetents, climate change, too late, tardy, tardiness, flood, flooding, flooded, global warming effect, global warming effects, delay, delays, apocalypse, end of the world, dragging our heels, worldwide flood, worldwide floods, environmental disaster, environmental catastrophe, catastrophe, catastrophes, disaster, disasters, natural disaster, natural disasters
Tags:king, kings, ruler, rulers, royal, royals, royalty, monarch, monarchs, sovereign, sovereigns, throne, thrones, folding chair, folding chairs, chair, chairs, seat, seats, furniture, new furniture, delivery, waiting for a delivery, deliverymen, deliveryman, special delivery, shipping, mail, mailing, waiting, waiting time, delay, delays, impatient, uncomfortable, awkward, finally, at last
"Take heed! For your journey is filled with long delays and unexpected service charges!"
Tags:commuting, commuter, commuters, transportation, public transportation, public transit, passenger, passengers, train, trains, subway, subways, metro, metros, underground, new york, new york city, ny, nyc, warning, warnings, service change, service changes, service, bad service, delay, delays, delayed, late, wizard, wizards, forewarning, foreshadowing, foretelling, journey, journeys, modern life
'Hmm... Only 11 days till I have to start Christmas shopping.'
Tags:christmas, christmases, xmas, xmass, shop, shops, shopping, shopped, shopper, shoppers, last minute, late, delay, delays, delaying, delayed, notice, notices, notify, notifies, notified, present, presents, gift, gifts, customer, customers, display, displays, displaying, displayed, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Congestion Eases Inexplicably
Planned Service Changes
Tags:trains, train, transport, transportation, finding yourself, university, universities, college, colleges, education, delays, delay, career change, career changes, resignation, resignations, gap years, gap year, sabbatical, time off, millennial, millennials, subway, updates, commute, commuter, commuters
"When the roll is called up yonder, I shall be very much surprised if any of the Penn Central management people are there."
Tags:penn central, penn station, pennsylvania station, subway, railroad, railroads, underground, commute, commuter, commuters, delay, delays, delayed, late, running late, public transport, public transit, public transportation, transportation, new york, new york city, traffic, railway, train, trains, bus, buses
"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, traveling, travellers, travellers, travelling, passenger, passengers, delay, delays, delayed, late, inconvenience, voucher, vouchers, service, customer service, death, life, waiting, wait, long waits, redeem, redeemable, courtesy, wasting time, wasted time
"It's certainly high time you got around to fixing that lock, Straus!"
Tags:lock, locks, bathroom, bathrooms, bathroom stall, bathroom stalls, door lock, door locks, broken, busted, toilet, toilets, toilet cubicle, toilet cubicles, stall, stalls, repair, repairs, repairman, repairmen, delay, delays, delayed repairs, deferred maintenance, fix, fixes, fixing, wait, waits, long wait, long waits, neglect, neglected, janitor, janitors, maintenance man, maintenance men, building maintenance
Einstein Discovers That Time is Actually Laundry
'Darling? I think I'll be a bit late tonight!'
"Take heed! For your journey is filled with long delays and unexpected service changes."
Tags:train, trains, train station, train stations, transport, transportation, public transport, public transportation, delay, delays, service change, service changes, commute, commuter, commuters, wizard, wizards, canal st, canal street, nyc, new york, warlock, warlocks, sorcerer, sorcerers, magic, magician, magicians
"You mean to say you haven't even put your face on yet?"
Tags:makeup, make-up, put your face on, putting your face on, put on makeup, putting on makeup, figure of speech, figures of speech, literal, literally, literal interpretation, literal interpretations, late, lateness, tardy, tardiness, alien, aliens, monster, monsters, killer, killers, disguise, disguises, disguised, put on your face, putting on your face, dawdle, dawdles, dawdling, delay, delays, delaying