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Cheese of the Week: Brie
Tags:brie, cheese, gourmet, cheese lover, foodie, foodies, food lover, food lovers, delivery, deliver, delivered, delivers, mail, mailman, mail order, mail orders, post, postal, posted, postal order, post order, slot, through the slot, through the door, melted cheese, grilled cheese, grill, melt, melting, grills, mess, messes, messy
Gas truck that has run out of gas.
Tags:gas, gasoline, petrol, diesel, fuel, fuels, kerosine, benzine, truck, trucks, trucking, trucker, truckers, delivery, deliver, deliveries, delivered, delivering, ran out, run out, broken down, break down, break downs, breaking down, roadside, road, roads, vehicle, vehicles, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Tag! Your salary's frozen."
'55 minutes? Really? And you call yourself the fastest land mammal?'
It's not the destination, but the journey that counts. Until you screw up. Then it's all about the destination.
"He'll deliver his own toys this year."
'I wasn't in a bar!! I smell like smoke because I've been going down chimneys all flippin' night!'
Tags:santa, santa claus, christmas, christmases, christmasy, december 25th, december, christmas eve, bar, bars, drink, drinks, drinking, drunk, deliver, delivery, delivers, delivered, chimney, chimneys, smoke, smokes, smoking, accused, accusing, wife, work, working, job, jobs, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'This is going to be a long night.'
Tags:santa, santa claus, reindeer, reindeers, sleigh, december 25th, christmas day, christmas eve, presents, present, gift, gifts, deliver, delivery, delivers, delivered, fly, flies, flied, flying, fall, fallen, fell, falls, trip, tripped, trips, long night, clumsy, christmas lights, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Waiting for Pants
"Dear USPS - Julie Michael's mail is no longer in care of Apt. 8-B. She has moved out to Queens. Queens!! Can you believe it??? Three years I devoted to that woman! Oh, well. C'est la vie. I'll find someone else I suppose. Eventually. Yeah, right!"
Tags:forward mail, forwards mail, forwarding mail, neighbor, neighbors, neighbour, neighbours, mailbox, mailboxes, breakup, breakups, break-up, break-ups, breakup, breakups, breaking up, split up, splits up, splitting up, heartbreak, heartbreaking, heartbroken, love, loves, post, posts, postbox, postboxes, delivery, deliveries, deliver, delivers, delivering
"Everyone's waiting to have babies, so I had to pick up a side gig."
18 Teller Avenue
Tags:mail, post, snail mail, postwoman, postman, postperson, mailwoman, mailman, mailperson, postie, postal carrier, deliver, delivery, email, email filters, spam folder, spam folders, mail folders, primary, social, promo, mail filters, filters, technology, old tech, modern life, modern, modern communication, milennial, millennials
"No, the other one."
Waiter carries fake teeth in a glass.
Tags:waiter, waiters, waitress, waitresses, drink, drinks, tray, trays, glass, glasses, cup, cups, teeth, fake teeth, veneer, veneers, chatter, chatters, chattering, deliver, delivers, delivering, food, run, runs, running, running food, food and drink, fall out, fell out, restaurant, restaurants, fine dining
'You didn't bring any war toys did you?'
"Sam, this is Willie Zimmer, whose quiet authority informs the mailroom."
Tags:boss, bosses, introduction, introductions, introduces, mail, mailman, deliver, delivers, delivering, inform, informs, informing, quiet authority, authority, confident, confidence, professional, professionals, pro, employee, employees, command, commands, leader, leaders, undeclared, unofficial, leadership, quality, characteristic, characteristics
Santa delivering newspapers
"Who ordered the krill pizza?"
Tags:whale, whales, rescue, rescuer, rescuers, rescued, rescue team, sealife, marine life, whaling, beluga, humpback, humpback whale, beached, beaches, beach, beached whale, fish, seashore, pizza, delivery, pizza boy, pizza guy, pizza man, deliver, delivered, pizzas, pizza delivery, krill, krills, order, order in, take away, takeaway, takeout, take out, animal, animals, modern, modern life, modern world
'I'm tired of hunting and gathering... doesn't anyone deliver?'
"Flight 570 reports its starboard engines sucked in Dasher and Dancer and the port intakes just got Donner and Blitzen!"
Tags:flight control, flight controls, flight controller, air traffic, air traffic control, air traffic controls, santa, santa claus, sleigh, sleighs, deliver, delivers, delivering, present, presents, gift, gifts, airline, airlines, airliner, airliners, airplane, airplanes, jet engine, jet engines, sucked into a jet engine, jet intake, reindeer, delivery, deliveries, christmas, christmas season, holiday season, die, dies, dying, death, deaths, christmas eve
"Ha! Hey, Ralph, this says it's to go to Sea-Park, but it's the wrong address. Weird, huh? Ralph!"
The take-out drone
"Delivery in thirty minutes or your pizza is free(zing)."
Tags:deliver, delivers, delivery, pizza, pizzas, cold pizza, cold pizzas, terms and conditions, fine print, offer, offers, deal, deals, shifty, dealing, dealings, guarantee, guarantees, ad, ads, advert, adverts, advertisement, advertisements, technicality, technicalities, asterisk, asterisks, advertising, mislead, misled, misleading
"You must be the fellow who ordered a friend on Amazon."