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'Yes, I am 100% positive that I didn't order a medium pizza with extra mice and sparrows.'
"I, of course, meant seven business days."
Tags:god, gods, creation, creationism, creationist, creationists, beginning of the universe, creation of the universe, big bang, the big bang, the big bang theory, seven days, 7 days, genesis, book of genesis, the book of genesis, business days, business week, delivery, deliveries, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, disappointment, disappointments, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes
"Dammit! I swallowed another one!"
Tags:storks, stork, babies, baby, new born babies, new born baby, congratulations, birth, birthday, deliveries, delivery, flies, fly, insect, insects, incompetence, compensation, swallowed a fly, swallow, malpractice, medical malpractice, medical insurance, obstetrics, obstetricians, obstetrician, deliveryman, delivery men
'You're not bidding on something again, are you? . . . So when some goofy item and a debit in our account show up at roughly the same time, I am to assume what?'
Gas truck that has run out of gas.
Tags:gas, gasoline, petrol, diesel, fuel, fuels, kerosine, benzine, truck, trucks, trucking, trucker, truckers, delivery, deliver, deliveries, delivered, delivering, ran out, run out, broken down, break down, break downs, breaking down, roadside, road, roads, vehicle, vehicles, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"
Tags:animal, animals, rooster, roosters, chicken, chickens, hen, hens, chick, chicks, egg, eggs, large, brown, jumbo, kid, kids, child, children, baby, babies, pregnancy, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, new parent, new parents, hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, maternity ward, obstetrics ward, delivery ward, waiting area, waiting areas, waiting room, waiting rooms, new father, new dad, expectant parents, expectant father, expectant dad, delivery, deliveries, delivering a baby, having a baby, good news
"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."
"It's hard for me to tell if my father's having been in the delivery room when I was born is a real factor in my over-all sense of well-being."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, baby, babies, childbirth, childbirths, birth, births, pregnancy, having kids, having children, mental health, self-esteem, self-confidence, presence, delivery, deliveries, delivering a baby, delivering babies, delivery room, delivery rooms, maternity ward, maternity wards, hospital, hospitals, well-being, factor, factors, influence, influences, health, healthy, millennial, millennials, modern life, modern parenting, modern childbirth, worries, worried, anxious, anxiety, fragile
'55 minutes? Really? And you call yourself the fastest land mammal?'
A stone in a cave has letters shoved into it.
Tags:post, mail, mailman, mailmen, letter, letters, letter carrier, letter carriers, vacation, vacations, vacationing, delivery, deliveries, out, out for the day, late notice, late notices, move, moves, moving, move house, moves house, moving house, notice, notices, bill, bills, build up, builds up, building up
"Get me room service."
'Sorry, sir, but I had to throw all your t-bone steaks to your dogs so they wouldn't attack me. . . um. . . that'll be $49.71 please. . .'
"Package deliveries on Sundays? That makes the weekend so much more exciting."
'You shoulda checked the fine print in your HMO policy. First I have to deliver two pies over in Elmira, then I'll get you to Mercy Medical.'
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down twenty-two dollars and thirty-seven cents."
The freight elevator for the man who has everything."
An emergency vehicle reads "pizza" in reverse on its hood.
'Emily, have you been shopping online during class?'
"Hello, I'm calling to cancel my subscription to the Punch-of-the-Month basket."
You've Got Mail
Tags:technology, modern technology, modern technologies, email, emailing, emails, you've got mail, youve got mail, new message, new messages, internet, internet messaging, internet messaging, online messages, online messaging, postal service, postal system, post, delivery, deliveries, parcel, parcels, package, packages, parcel delivery, mail, mail service, violas, violist, gambist, violaist, violinist, smuggled violas, poetry, poetry book, poetry books, poet, poem, poems, poetry enthusiast, viola enthusiast, oatmeal, cereal, cereals, breakfast cereal, breakfast cereals, years supply of oatmeal
"Dear USPS - Julie Michael's mail is no longer in care of Apt. 8-B. She has moved out to Queens. Queens!! Can you believe it??? Three years I devoted to that woman! Oh, well. C'est la vie. I'll find someone else I suppose. Eventually. Yeah, right!"
Tags:forward mail, forwards mail, forwarding mail, neighbor, neighbors, neighbour, neighbours, mailbox, mailboxes, breakup, breakups, break-up, break-ups, breakup, breakups, breaking up, split up, splits up, splitting up, heartbreak, heartbreaking, heartbroken, love, loves, post, posts, postbox, postboxes, delivery, deliveries, deliver, delivers, delivering
'Honey, the delivery guy is here.'