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"Dammit! I swallowed another one!"
Tags:storks, stork, babies, baby, new born babies, new born baby, congratulations, birth, birthday, deliveries, delivery, flies, fly, insect, insects, incompetence, compensation, swallowed a fly, swallow, malpractice, medical malpractice, medical insurance, obstetrics, obstetricians, obstetrician, deliveryman, delivery men
"I am a golem, but on weekends I do Domino's."
"What if I'm actually in love with the mailman?"
"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."
Tags:king, kings, royal, royalty, pizza, pizzas, pizza delivery, pizza deliveries, order, ordering, orders, delivery man, delivery men, deliveryman, deliverymen, delivery boy, delivery person, delivery people, pizza delivery man, pizza delivery men, pizza deliveryman, pizza deliverymen, pizza delivery person, pizza delivery people, throne, thrones, wealth, wealthy, rich, wealthy people, wealthy person, rich people, rich person, privilege, privileged, pizza restaurant, pizza restaurants
'Sorry, sir, but I had to throw all your t-bone steaks to your dogs so they wouldn't attack me. . . um. . . that'll be $49.71 please. . .'
"Well I have to go, my ride is here."
It's not the destination, but the journey that counts. Until you screw up. Then it's all about the destination.
"No, sir, they don't come with the cubicle—you have to order the cubicle separately."
Tags:office worker, office workers, office work, office job, office jobs, office cubicle, office cubicles, bad manager, bad managers, bad management, management style, management styles, new job, new jobs, out of touch, boss bosses, delivery, deliveries, delivery man, delivery men, delivery people, delivery person, battery, batteries, no batteries, disappointment, disappointments, let-down, let down, let-downs, let downs
"Watch ya back. Hotshot coming through!"
"You've got the wrong address, Mac."
This Side Up.
"Where are the cheese sticks?"
Tags:delivery, deliveries, pizza, pizzas, delivery man, delivery men, order, orders, ordering, cheese stick, cheese sticks, eskimos, arctic, inconvenient, inconvenience, forgotten item, forgotten items, missing item, missing items, out of the way, location, locations, antarctic, antarctica, igloo, igloos, redeliver, redelivers, redelivery, frustration, frustrations, frustrating, infuriating
'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'
"That's the problem with e-mail - no one to bite."
Tags:mailmen, mailman, postmen, postman, mail-men, mail-man, post office, postal service, postal services, letter, letters, dog, dogs, canine, canines, natural enemy, natural enemies, bite, bites, dog attack, dog attacks, dog bite, dog bites, email, emails, e-mail, e-mails, technological advances, technological advancements, delivery men, delivery man
"I just have this feeling that if I drove off a cliff, nobody would really miss me."
Tags:croutons, crouton, optional extra, optional extras, pointless, pointlessness, worthless, worthlessness, truck driver, truck drivers, surplus to requirement, surplus to requirements, niche job, niche jobs, modern life, delivery, delivery man, delivery men, delivery truck, snack, snacks, soup, soups, salad, salads
When postmen have nightmares.
'How many pints have you had?'
"I got Golden Ash Blond No. 334, just like you said."
Tags:rapunzel, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, hair dye, hair dyes, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, beauty product, beauty products, home delivery, delivery man, delivery men, princess in the tower, handsome prince, the handsome prince, priorities, bad priorities, wrong priorities, hair colour
'I's nice! Fresh eggs, fresh milk and...fresh books.'
'Your pizza may be cold. My car broke down on the way here, and it took the garage over a week to fix it.'
"What? More deliveries? Man, I never should have leased out my cloud for data storage."
Tags:god, lord, the almighty, the creator, cloud network, cloud, clouds storage, data storage, cloud networks, computer network, computer networks, pearly gates, heavenly gates, heaven, heavens, afterlife, afterlives, lease, leases, data storages, computer data, file, files, delivery men, delivery man
"Guaranteed overnight, right?"
Four Poster Bed
'Dad, I know we're supposed to hate postmen, but what is the etiquette for couriers?'
"Unfortunately, Lance can't be here tonight to accept this award. But it's a thrill and an honor for me to accept it on his behalf on my way over to his place with his small onion and pepperoni."
Tags:delivery man, delivery men, pizza delivery, pizza deliveries, pizza, takeout, takeouts, takeaway, takeaways, takeout pizza, takeout pizzas, takeaway pizza, takeaway pizzas, award, awards, award ceremony, award ceremonies, lazy, laziness, deliveryman, deliverymen, delivery person, delivery people, acceptance speech, acceptance speeches, disrespect, disrespectful, disregard, disregarding, movie award, movie awards, film award, film awards