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"Trust me, son, if there was a monster under your bed I would have claimed it as a dependent by now."
Victim of dependency - Please don't help.
"Cheetah more than friend. Cheetah dependent."
Tags:tax, taxes, tax day, tax days, write-off, write-offs, dependent, dependents, dependence, cheetah, ape, apes, monkey, monkeys, chimp, chimps, chimpanzee, chimpanzees, claim, claims, claiming, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, 1040, 1040s, creative accounting, accountant, accountants, save money, saves money, saving money
'I sympathize with your wife having multiple personality disorder, but you can't claim each one as a dependent."
"Have you seen my chew toy?"
"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."
Tags:dog, dogs, accountant, accountants, accountancy, human, humans, helpless, needy, dependent, dependents, tax, taxes, claim, claims, claiming, claim as a dependent, relation, relations, relative, relatives, incompetent, incompetents, dependency exemption, dependency exemptions, support, supportive, supporting, reliant, rely, relies
"Im curious about your dependent children. I believe their names are Scamp, Scruffy, Flop, Spunky, and Lady."
Tags:dependent, dependents, will, wills, will and testament, last will and testament, dependent children, dependent child, dog, dogs, dog lover, dog lovers, dog lady, dog ladies, irs, tax, taxes, tax write-off, tax write-offs, exemption, exemptions, internal revenue service, tax fraud, fraud, fraudulent, fraudulence, fraudulent claim, fraudulent claims
'You won't have me as a deduction anymore.'
The day the cat realized it was dependent.
"We can't pull the plug. We're all still on her insurance."
Tags:living will, living wills, pull the plug, pulling the plug, life support, insurance, health insurance, dependent, dependents, dependency, children, adult child, healthcare, for-profit healthcare, immature, immaturity, lazy, laziness, generation gap, millennial, millennials, entitled, entitlement
Tags:evolution, darwin's theory of evolution, evolve, evolving, evolved, evolves, man, men, human, humans, fish, science, natural selection, biology, biologist, biologists, phone, phones, technology, mobile phone, mobile phones, smartphone, smartphones, addicted, addict, addicts, addicting, addiction, addictions, dependent, dependents, depend, depends, depending, depending
"Then again, maybe he does qualify as a dependent."
"Even if you do always volunteer to bring the meat dish to church potlucks, you can't claim the congregation as dependents."
I wondre, is the little woman still claiming me on her income taxes?
IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'
'About your three dependants, 'Shep,' 'Fluffy,' and 'Chirpy'....'
"Don't feed them! It makes them dependent."
A man has three women depending on him.
'If I were Internal Revenue I'd be damned suspicious of a dependent named Rover.'
'You can claim your dependents on yout tax returns, but not your codependents.'
'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'
'I hear he's lobbying for tax laws that will let him declare us his dependents.'
'I need to check this dependent of yours.'
'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'
'... and they lived co-dependently ever after...'