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'Somehow your medical records got faxed to a complete stranger. He has no idea what's wrong with you either.'
'OK, Mrs. Dunn. We'll slide you in there, scan your brain, and see if we can find out why you've been having these spells of claustrophobia.'
'I've already diagnosed myself on the web but I thought I'd come in for a second opinion.'
'Just as I thought. You have bones.'
'I'm concerned about the high levels of blood we found in your blood test.'
'Worst case of premature baldness I've ever seen.'
'Mrs. Nortman just sent in this fax of a rash that she's got on her stomach.'
To make office visits more fun, Dr. Slorm liked to deliver his diagnosis by playing charades.
'Your wife has 'irritable yowl syndrome,' Mr, Cromwell,'
"You should take it easy for a while, Mr. Harner. You've been infected by the virus of hate."
Tags:hate, hatred, anger, furious, curmudgeon, curmudgeons, curmudgeonly, grump, grumps, grumpy, enraged, diagnose, diagnoses, diagnosing, diagnosed, examination, examinations, medical exam, medical exams, irate, irritate, irritates, irritating, irritation, irritations, personality, personality type, personality types, virus, viruses
'Your cholesterol is high. Lay off the sea food.'
Tags:engine, engines, car, cars, automobile, automobiles, vehicle, vehicles, mechanic, mechanics, engineer, engineers, flooded, problem, problems, diagnosis, diagnose, diagnosed, broken down, broke down, break down, breaking down, call out, calling out, called out, breaks down, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"There's no known treatment for it, but I can refer you to some great related content."
"Murchison’s theory is that it’s dog hair in your fuel line.”
Tags:dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, pet dog, pet dogs, dog lover, dog lovers, too many pets, too many dogs, shed, shedding, dog hair, dog hairs, pet, pets, pet problems, pet problem, pet owner, pet owners, pet lover, pet lovers, mechanic, mechanics, car mechanic, car mechanics, car repair shop, car repair shops, auto mechanic, auto mechanics, auto repair, auto repair shop, auto repair shops, automobile, automobiles, cars, car, obvious, obviously, obvious conclusion, diagnostic, diagnose, diagnosed, obvious diagnosis, troubleshoot, troubleshooting, customer service, repair, repairs, repairman, repairmen
"Well, whatever you've got, this can't be helping."
Tags:help, helps, helping, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, stomach, stomachs, stomach trouble, stomach troubles, stomach problem, stomach problems, treatment, treatments, treatment option, treatment options, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, cure, cures, disease, diseases, cure is worse than the disease, diagnose, diagnoses, diagnosing, diagnosed
"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."
Tags:game show, game shows, game show host, game show hosts, talk show, talk shows, talk show host, talk show hosts, host, hosts, hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, nurse, intro, introduction, introductions, introduce, guess, guessing, guessing game, guessing games, contestant, contestants, sick, ill, sickness, illness, lighthearted, disease, diseases, diseased, virus, viruses, medical, medical center, medical centre, medical centers, medical centres, diagnose, diagnosis, diagnosed
'Watch the news with the sound turned off. You're suffering from information overload.'
'Looks like the doctor confirmed my diagnosis. It's not just your bowel. Everything about you is irritable.'
'The upside of this drug is you'll live longer. The downside is that you'll live in poverty.'
'Shortness of cash? I thought you said you were suffering from shortness of breath!'
'You've got irritable bowl syndrome.'
'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'
'Your problem is in the gene which makes antibodies, but the Biophase Corp. now has a patent on that gene, I can't do anything for you.'
'I was such a good student that I skipped a year in medical school - but that's why I never learned about kidneys.'
'Off hand, I'd say you're suffering from an arrow through your head, but just to play it safe, I'm ordering a bunch of tests.'