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Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.
"You have Floral-Pattern baldness."
For some patients, Dr. Edwards would play 'Diagnosis Charades'.
'In my opinion your blurred vision is caused by the axe in your head. But you may want a second opinion.'
'Now what seems to be the problem?'
Hospital chart 'GTACT...'
"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."
'We've found the problem...'
"Murchison’s theory is that it’s dog hair in your fuel line.”
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'It's just a mild hyperinsulism due to islet cell hyperplasia with a touch of hepatic insufficiency and glycogen depletion. In other words watch your diet.'
'Low T? How's the rest of my alphabet?'
'It doesn't look good, Bob!'
'I'm afraid you're a jerk, Mr. Weatherby.'
'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'
Tunnel of Anxiety
'And if it's anthrax... Can I still eat whatever I like?'
'If you miss this lumber puncture Doc, I get to puncture you with my fist.'
'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'
'We found your problem, you're allergic to bandages.'
'Even I didn't realize it was a disease.'
'I think I see what the problem is, but I'll send you down for some X-rays just to make sure.'
"Based on blood tests and the X-ray, I'd say it's 'a guy thing'."
'Well I don't see any white dots. . . However there are tiny devils in your throat poking your tonsils.'
"Your nose is ridiculously large, you have only four fingers on each hand, and no chin at all. I'm referring you to a real artist."