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"I'm sorry, Mr. Burke isn't in right now. He ate some funky yogurt he found in the back of the fridge and he's in the bathroom - how shall I put this - promoting from within."
Cruise ship called "S.S. Diarrhea"
Tags:cruise, cruises, cruise ship, cruise ships, ship, ships, boat, boats, cruise boat, cruise boats, sailing, cruising, going on a cruise, medical, medicine, disease, diseases, sick, sickness, ill, illness, virus, viruses, germ, germs, norovirus, gastroenteritis, diarrhoea, diarrhea, stomach flu, stomach flu, montezuma's revenge, dehli belly, upset stomach, tourism, sea travel, travel, travelling, traveling, cruise vacation, cruise vacations, cruise holiday, cruise holidays
'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'
'I've got the trots.'
"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."
"I knew Yorick also. He gave me diarrhea."
Tags:shakespeare, hamlet, shakespeares plays, shakespeare's plays, yorick, alas poor yorick, vulture, vultures, scavenger, scavengers, performer, performers, actor, actors, theatre, theatres, theater, theaters, diet, healthy eating, diarrhea, diarrhoea, bird of prey, birds of prey, predator, predators, carrion eater, carrion eaters, indigestion, bowl infection, bowl infections, shakespearean actor, shakespearean actors
"You must see someone about your problem."
Tags:upset tummy, upset tummies, diarrhea, diarrhoea, portable loo, portable loos, portable toilet, portable toilets, porta-potties, porta-potty, porta potties, porta potty, port-a-john, port-a-johns, port a john, port a johns, medical problem, medical problems, porta loo, porta loos, stomach problem, digestive problems, tummy problems
'When they said they had the 'screaming trots' I thought they meant a band.'
"Don't talk to Larry tonight, he's got irritable owl syndrome!"
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Week.
"Doing crosswords again?"
"One or two customers have complained of vomiting and diarrhoea. But don't worry, it only seems to be a twenty-four hour thing."
"More tea, Vicar?"
'My hubby has lost 5 stone, I wish I knew his secret.'
"Yesterday I had the trots, you should have seen him trying to scoop that up"
It's great to be a superhero in a full body costume except you can't find the zipper when you're suffering of diarrhoea.
"Everything alright in there?"
Jeff has a Case of the Squits.
"He's attained a Level 5 in potty work, but failed to spell 'diarrhoea' correctly."
"I must have eaten something bad. I've been going to the bathroom all day."
'Can I have my own restroom? I suffer from chronic diarrhea.'
'Hmmm. Pungent.' - 'You might want to leave it for 5 minutes!' - 'Hello?! Emergency services?!'
'He's got nervous colitis again, Doctor. If only you'd made a house call like I requested!"