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'We're not here to mourn, but to celebrate, because frankly, no-one is sorry to see him go...'
They were sad when they found out their Grandfather had died in an earthquake.
'I wish I had learned more trivia.'
'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'
'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.
"I wouldn't have thought baby boomers could still do cannonballs."
Tags:baby boomer, baby boomers, cannonball, cannonballs, daredevil, daredevils, stunt, stunts, stuntman, stuntmen, die, dies, dying, cause of death, causes of death, bathtub, bathtubs, tub, tubs, accident, accidents, accidental, accidental death, accidental deaths, age, ages, aging, ageing, ageing gracefully, aging gracefully, grow old, grows old, growing old, elder, elders, senior citizen, senior citizens, irresponsible, irresponsibility, fall, falls, slip and fall, slipping and falling
'This sucks. Let's try and start the wave.'
"Well, at least he died doing what he loved best - flippin' the bird at some eighteen-wheeler on I-95."
Tags:relationships, marriage, death, psychology, anger, autos, driving, men, masculine, masculinity, toxic masculinity, die, dies, dying, flip off, flips off, flipping off, flip the bird, flips the bird, flipping the bird, eighteen wheeler, eighteen wheelers, bad idea, bad ideas, dangerous driving, dangerous driver, dangerous drivers, road rage, mankoff
"At this time the family is grieving and suing."
Tags:grieving, grief, sad, saddened, saddening, sue, suing, lawsuit, lawsuits, family, families, death, deaths, died, dies, bereavement, bereavements, loss, losing, legal action, legal, law, laws, announce, announcement, press release, charge, prosecute, trial, bring to trial, honest, honesty, realistic, compensation, damages
"Beuford was too old for a sexual frenzy."
Tags:frenzy, frenzied, die, dies, dying, funeral, funerals, wake, wakes, die too young, dying too young, dead too young, fantasy, lament, laments, lamenting, mourn, mourns, mourning, mourner, mourners, too old, die too old, dying too old, elderly, elder, elders, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens
"The Sudden, Sure Knowledge That One's Best Efforts Have Come To Naught."
Tags:effort, efforts, death, deaths, die, dies, deadly, escape, vaudeville, song-and-dance, grim reapers, grim-reapers, grim reaper, grim-reaper, audience, audiences, dying, dies, cheating death, cheats death, performance, performed, barbershop music, barbershop, disappointed, disappointed, fail, failed, effort, efforts
Monuments 'n' Stuff
Tags:storefront, storefronts, name, names, monument, monuments, grave, graves, headstone, headstones, cemetery, cemeteries, disrespect, disrespects, disrespecting, undertaker, undertakers, mortuary, mortuaries, dark humor, black humor, dark humour, black humour, tombstone, tombstones, respect for the dead, show respect, shows respect, showing respect, consumer, consumer culture, consumerism, death, die, dies, dying, retailer, retailers, window shop, window shops, window shopping, modern life, modern times
'Ah... ok... I think I've found the source of the production slump.'
"He's dead. Would you like his voice mail?"
'Yeah, yeah, the floral pattern is fine. Weez just lookin' for somethin' a little wider, maybe eight, nine feet.'
In the houseplant cemetery.
Tags:houseplant, houseplants, cemetery, green thumb, green thumbs, keep alive, keeps alive, keeping alive, plant, plants, graveyard, graveyards, headstone, headstones, epitaph, epitaphs, kill houseplants, killing houseplants, murder, murders, murdering, greenery, fake plant, fake plants, fake houseplant, fake houseplants, old age, die, dies, dying, garden, gardens, gardening, gardener, gardeners
"I really don't think we need any more pets."
"No, you die first."
Tags:dead, death, dying, die, dies, died, love, loving, romance, romantic, play on words, word play, word-play, deathbed, death bed, last words, last word, dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, phone, phones, conversation, conversations, lovey dovey, lovey-dovey, gushing, gush, girl, girly, twist, twists, twisted, date, dates, dating, things we do for love, doomed love, extreme, extreme feelings, no you, no you hang up
'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'
"Hey, Gramps, is 'deathbed' one word or two?"
Tags:grandpa, grandpas, grandfather, grandfathers, deathbed, deathbeds, insensitive, death bed, death beds, spell check, spellcheck, dying, die, dies, dead, hospital, hospitals, teen, teens, teenager, thoughtless, thoughtlessness, carefree, rude, rudeness, tasteless, uncouth, question, questions, cancer, cancers
Dead Man Presents Flat Line At Meeting
Tags:cardiograph, cardiographs, cardiographer, heart beat, beat, beating, heart beat, dead, died, dying, dies, die, death, meeting, meetings, presentation, present, presents, presenting, prentations, profit, profits, chart, charts, graph, graphs, exec, executive, businessmen, businessman, overwork, overworked, over-work, over-worked, over-working, over work, over worked, stress, stressed, work stress, working world, modern, modern life, modern world
Prizes Include: A New Car, A Maui Vacation And The Grim Reaper
Tags:game, games, game show, gameshows, gameshow, death, dead, die, died, dying, dies, grim, grim reaper, reaper, reapers, tv, t v, tv show, television, live tv, audience, studio, studio audience, prize, prizes, vacation, vacations, random, randomness, chance, chances, probability, probabilities, car, cars, door number, choose, choice, choices, fate, fated, doom, doomed
"Dad, it's time we had that talk about the birds and the bees."
Tags:bird, birds, death, die, dies, dying, learn, learns, learning, nature of life, cycle of life, life cycle, life cycles, talk, talks, father-son chat, father-son chats, chat, chats, chatting, conversation, conversations, tough conversation, tough conversations, parent, parents, parenting, dad, dads, father, fathers, son, sons, kid, kids, child, children, misinterpret, misinterpretation, misinterpretations, literal, literally
"I got it this far - don't stop me now."
Tags:you can't take it with you, take it with you, taking it with you, money, greed, greedy, death, die, dies, dying, rich, riches, wealth, wealthy, elite, elites, expectation, expectations, heavenly gates, heaven's gate, gates of heaven, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, stingy, miserly, miser, misers