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'Three days into my program, and all I've succeeded at cutting out are the humans.'
'Over the years, class reunions have helped me lose more weight than any diet program.'
"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"
'It's a simple plan - everytime you come in and haven't lost weight - we slap you silly!'
'My new diet program works perfectly. It's so expensive that I don't have any money left for food.'
'Sure, other programs are cheaper. But let's not be penny-wise, pound-foolish.'
'With my diet program, you can start losing weight right now - give me all your money!'
'Five pounds of money lost to diet programs.'