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"Are you crazy? A bacon and tomato sandwich? On Yom Kippur?"
"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"
"So how about coming back to my place and I'll explain the Jewish dietary laws to you."
"So exactly when did you first experience this craving for a corned beef sandwich on white bread with mayonnaise and a glass of milk?"
'Ok, just look natural if you want this to work.'
"No ham in this, I hope?"
"And here's a list of food you can't eat."
"I'd invite you back to the house for a glass of iced tea, but I'm afraid our kitchen isn't kosher."
"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"
"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"
"Actually, we'd feel a lot safer in a Jewish neighborhood."
"It's not a question of kosher. He's checking the rabbi's name to see if it's one whose politics he agrees with."