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'These sandwiches are a tad disappointing...well, there's nothing on them.'
'Well, well, well, looks like we've got ourselves a troublemaker.'
Customer: 'I've got a complaint. This laptop doesn't fit my lap!'
"Everything I eat goes straight to my ass."
"Do you still have a recipe for the low fat rum-bourbon cake that helps you forget your hopes and dreams."
Tags:recipe, recipes, ingredient, ingredients, foodie, foodies, hope, hopes, dream, dreams, bourbon cake, bourbon cakes, cake, cakes, baking, home baking, home-baking, baker, bakers, cake recipe, cake recipes, rum-bourbon cake, rum-bourbon cakes, low fat, low-fat, diet, diets, dieter, dieters, dieting
'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'
"Yeah, but for a fat guy who doesn't exercise I'm in pretty good shape."
Tags:eat, eating, diet, diets, fitness, fit, fitter, exercise, exercising, exercises, exercised, physical fitness, physically fit, middle-age, middle age, middle aged, obese, obesity, morbidly obese, morbid obesity, xxl, food, foodie, obesity epidemic, fat, overweight, weight, weightloss, weight loss, weight-loss, good shape, in shape, irony, ironic, dramatic irony, bad shape, out of shape, healthy, health and wellbeing
"Just sitting here widening. You?"
Tags:man, men, fitness, out-of-shape, out of shape, wide, widening, wider, fat, gaining weight, overweight, obese, obesity, obesity crisis, eating habits, diet, diets, unhealthy, health, lack of exercise, couch potato, couch potatoes, lazy, laziness, modern life, covid, covid-19, corona, virus, coronavirus, social isolation, social distancing, quarantine, quarantines, quarantined, bored, boredom, work from home, working from home
"I've lost two whole millimetres since Tuesday."
Tags:diet, diets, dieting, weight loss, losing weight, beauty standards, gender issues, thigh, thighs, measuring device, measuring devices, achievement, achievements, success, successes, factory worker, factory workers, break, breaks, lunch break, lunch breaks, break time, break times, thigh, thighs, company property
Lemonade Cleanse - $20 a glass.
Tags:cleanse, cleanses, cleansing, master cleanse, lemonade cleanse, fad diet, fad diets, charlatan, charlatans, marketing, marketing department, marketing departments, lemonade stand, lemonade stands, capitalist, capitalist, capitalists, juice cleanse, juice cleanses, gimmick, gimmicks, health food, healthy eating, healthy life, healthy living, quack, quacks, diet, diets, dieting
"I want you to be more health conscious. Steal a vegetarian's lunch."
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, child rearing, kid, kids, child, bad parent, bad parents, bad parenting, toxic masculinity, fathers and sons, diet, diets, dieting, vegetarian, vegetarians, vegetarianism, school dinner, school dinners, theft, petty theft, bully, bullies, bullying
"Have you seen Martha lately? She's lost so much blubber on her new diet, she looks like an oceaned human.:
'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'
Size differences aside...it's that cheesy 'manufactured' smile that makes it so easy to pick a fruit fly on a GM diet!!
"One slice—hold the bread."
Tags:pizza, pizzas, pizza place, pizza parlor, pizza parlour, parlor, parlour, italian, italians, gluten free, gluten-free, low carb, low-carb, keto, ketogenic, ketosis, diet, diets, crash diet, crash diets, dieting, dietting, weight, weigh, weight loss, lose weight, losing weight, fitness, fit, health, women, woman, body conscious, haes, health at every size, calorie, calories, cico, calories in calories out, carb, carbs, carbohydrate, carbohydrates
"In the morning I eat nothing then I wait 4 hours and eat nothing again."
Tags:yoga mat, yoga mats, yoga class, yoga classes, yoga lesson, yoga lessons, fitness class, fitness classes, fitness regime, diet, diets, dieter, dieters, dieting, diet plan, diet plans, workout, workouts, skipping meals, gossip, show off, show offs, showing off, gossiping, weight loss, losing weight
Classic Koala. Diet Koala.
'Maybe our health insurance people aren't sticklers.'
"Lookin' good, Frosty!"
Tags:holiday, holidays, weight gain, weight loss, gain weight, gains weight, gaining weight, lose weight, losing weight, lost weight, compliment, compliments, complimenting, diet, diets, dieting, new year's resolution, new years resolution, resolution, resolutions, christmas, christmas season, snowman, snowmen, frosty, christmas song, christmas songs
37 Servings of Vegetables a Day!
Tags:rabbit, rabbits, vegetable, vegetables, portion size, portion sizes, diet, diets, dietary advice, nutritional information, nutritional advice, healthy eating, health food, good diet, good diets, healthy diet, healthy diets, vegetarian, vegetarians, vegan, vegans, vegetarianism, veganism, herbivore, herbivores
'It's the most effective appetite suppressant available,'
Tags:weigh, weighs, weight, weight, gastric band, gastric bands, diet, diets, dieting, obese, obesity, fat, fats, fatty, band, bands, reduce, reduces, reduction, reductions, appetite, appetites, suppress, suppresses, suppressing, suppressant, suppressants, tummy, tummies, belly, bellies, close to home
"I just wish you would try counting your blessings the way you do your carbs."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, counting your blessings, counting carbs, counting calories, diet, diets, dieting, going on a diet, slimming down, losing weight, watching weight, carb, carbs, carbohydrates, carbohydrate, counting, wish, wishes, wishing, desire, desires, beauty, beauty standards, health, self-confidence, self-esteem, body image
"If you must know—pizza, pepperoni pizza, and I'm going to relish every damn bite."
Tags:food, delivery, pizza, pizzas, pepperoni, woman, women, diet, diets, dieting, eating healthy, healthy eating, healthy diet, eating habits, junk food, unhealthy, health, healthy, vegetables, veggies, vegetables, veggie, fruit, fruits, veg, carrot, carrots, asparagus, pear, pears, apple, apples, bean, beans, relish, enjoy, enjoyment, fitness, giving in, cheat day, cheat days
Thirty Days to a Fatter Wallet
Tags:self help, self help book, self help books, self-help, self-help book, self-help books, diet, diets, dieting, january, new year, new years, resolution, resolutions, weight loss, losing wight, making money, greed, greedy, get rich, getting rich, get rich quick, fad, fads, health fad, health fads, trend, trends, following trends