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"I want an aisle seat in no smoking, lots of fresh air, proper maintenance, no cracks in the fuselage - and none of your frigging bug spray!"
Tags:airport, airports, air travel, air travels, difficult customer, difficult customers, tricky customer, tricky customers, fussy customer, fussy customers, flight, flights, customer satisfaction, customer experience, customer experience, aisle seat, aisle seats, non-smoking, bug spray, big sprays, grump, grumpy, old lady, old ladies, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, pensioner, pensioners, old age, old-age
"Don't mind me, Riche – it's just the rabies talking."
"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."
Tags:meat alternative, meat alternatives, meat-alternative, meat-alternatives, butcher, butchers, butcher's shop, butchers shop, butchers' shop, fussy customer, difficult customer, difficult customers, foodie, foodies, ground beef, organic, gmo, gmos, vegetarian, vegetarians, vegetarianism, vegan, vegans, veganism, food fad, food fads
"Are these beautiful? I can't ever tell?"
"Yes everything's fine. Why wouldn't it be?"
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, waiter, waiter, waiting staff, check in, restaurant check in, fussy eater, fussy eaters, inspecting the food, inspecting food, fussy customer, fussy customer, difficult customer, difficult customers, suspicious, suspicious questions, suspicion, diners, diner, customer, customers, service industry
"These have all been eliminated. She's down to the semifinals."
Tags:perfume, perfumes, shopping, shopper, shoppers, consumerism, perfume counter, perfume counters, beautician, beauticians, competition, competitions, contest, contests, semifinals, semi-finals, elimination, process of elimination, decision making, difficult decision, difficult decisions, difficult customer, difficult customers
"Oh I'm sorry... This severed head has a man-bun, and I'm gluten intolerant."
Tags:difficult customers, difficult customer, complaining, complaint, silly complaint, silly complaints, faddy eater, fussy eater, faddy eaters, fussy eaters, faddy food, food fads, gluten intolerance, worst customer, worst customers, severed head, severed heads, restaurant restaurants, waiter, waiters, server, servers
"If this were the Planet of the Apes you'd get me another drink."
Tags:bar, bars, drinks, drinking, pub, pubs, cocktail lounge, cocktail bar, drunk, drunken, drunks, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, drinker, booze, boozer, cocktail, cocktails, problem drinker, problem drinkers, ape, apes, bartender, bartenders, barkeep, barkeepers, servers, serve, serving, customer, customers, demanding customer, demanding customers, difficult customer, difficult customers, film, films, film references, movies, movie reference, customer service
"She's asking if it's fresh-squeezed. Should I tell her to f**k off?"
"I'd like to book a trip to Paris in 1958."
"What's the matter with this place? Don't they know there's a war on?"
Tags:store, stores, shop, shops, shopping, vintage shop, vintage store, customer service, good customer service, service with a smil, cheerful, cheery, smile, smiling, smiles, war, ww2, wwii, world war two, world war ii, wartime, wartime jokes, difficult times, troubled times, vintage, vintage cartoon, vintage cartoons, 1940s, wartime cartoon, customer, customers, difficult customers, difficult customers, unhappy customer, unhappy customers
"Are we racist?"
"Don't tell him anything."
Tags:waiter, waiters, paranoid, paranoia, suspicious, suspicion, dining, dinner, diner, fine dining, dinner, food, foodie, restaurant, restaurant, hostage, hostages, interrogation, interrogations, interrogate, interrogates, interrogated, questioning, questioned, my lips are sealed, lips are sealed, couple, couples, date night, dating, service industry, difficult, difficult customer, difficult customers, customers, customer, customer service
"They keep asking for more ice for their drinks."
"How about this: you don't take our order by memory and we won't forget to tip?"
Tags:tip, tips, tipper, tippers, tipping, tipped, waiter, waiters, server, servers, eating out, eat out, restaurant worker, restaurant workers, memorize, memorise, good memory, good memories, order, orders, ordering, food order, food orders, customer service, customer experience, customer satisfaction, difficult customer, difficult customers, tricky customer, tricky customers, tipping convention, tipping conventions
'The key to customer service is staying one step ahead of the customer. Especially if he's irate.'
"Hello yes, I placed an order on seamless and it's been nearly an hour."
Tags:online shopping, internet shopping, online retailer, online retailers, internet retailer, internet retailers, flood, floods, natural disaster, natural disasters, flooding, extreme weather, delivery speed, delivery speeds, difficult customer, difficult customers, tricky customer, tricky customers, customer service, customer services
"Hey buddy, you ever gonna order a drink, or what?"
"Yeah, single origin coffee -- from this pot."
Tags:diner, diners, coffee, coffees, drip coffee, drip coffees, filter coffee, filter coffees, waitress, waitreses, servier, servers, waiter, waiters, single origin coffee, single origin coffees, hipster, hipsters, coffee snob, coffee snobs, sarcasm, sarcastic, sarcastic reply, sarcastic replies, difficult customer, difficult customers, coffee pot, coffee pots, diner coffee
"I demand to speak with the manager!"
"Can the chef prepare it in some way no one has ever prepared anything before?"
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, customer, customers, customer request, customer requests, picky, picky eater, picky eaters, fussy, fussy eater, fussy eaters, difficult customer, difficult customers, chef, chefs, cook, cooks, cooking, food preparation, culinary, kitchen, kitchens, impossible, request, requests
"What I'd like is different presidential candidates, but I guess I'll just have the shrimp in garlic sauce."
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, waiter, waiters, waiting staff, order, ordering, customer, customers, difficult customer, difficult customers, presidential candidates, presidential candidate, presidential race, election, elections, 2016 election, 2016 elections, 2020 election, 2020 elections, trump, donald trump, president donald trump, president trump, politics, politcians, politician, american politics, us politics
"Are all of your carcinogens produced locally?"
Tags:carcinogen, carcinogens, locally sourced, local food, produced locally, local produce, restaurant, restaurants, waite, waiters, health food, healthy food, healthy foods, unhealthy food, unhealthy foods, difficult customer, difficult customers, ethically sourced, ethical eating, ethical ingredients
"Table three needs ketchup."
"I am haunted by the idea that the basic axioms on which the arithmetic is based may invalidate these computations."
Tags:the bill, paying the bill, eating out, dining out, restaurant, customer, customers, bad customer, bad customers, mathematician, mathematicians, contradiction, contradictions, difficult customer, difficult customers, overthink, overthinking, overthinker, overthinkers, over think, over thinker, over thinkers, contest, dispute, disputing, being difficult