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"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."
"There's nothing wrong with the food. I just needed a little attention."
"Yes, I'm still working on it."
"Will you be dining with others tonight, or just the company of your smartphone?"
'I remember when 'dining alone' meant you were the only one at the table.'
There are worse things than dining alone. Like dining with the bogeyman.
"Do you care to blend in at the bar while you eat alone, or stick out like a sore thumb in the dining room?"
'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'
"I'm so conflicted these days that when I dine alone, I ask for separate checks."