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"Phony, fake, ludicrous...SAD!"
"So you're pregnant...by a guy named 'Holy Spirit...' Well, this might be the right moment to tell you about me and this girl from the wine tavern."
"My research concludes it's in our best interest to continue believing in Santa Claus."
"A new poll shows more than 50 percent of Americans do not believe the news media."
"I need to stay on top of the latest news I don't believe is true."
"Personally, I don't trust weathermen. They change their story every day!"
'He was a fine man, a great competitor, a wonderful friend - provided he's really dead.'