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I get my ideas on sale...
"Is that the corporate rate?"
Tags:corporate rate, corporate rates, tax rate, tax rates, corporation, corporations, discount, discounts, discounted, hotel, hotels, hotel stay, hotel stays, lookalike, lookalikes, suit, suits, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, price, prices, concierge, concierges, entitled, entitlement complex, entitlement complexes
"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."
Tags:writer, writers, novel, novella, novels, novel writing, poem, poet, poetry, poets, poetic, literature, literary, word play, play on words, ironic, irony, author, authors, authored, book, books, book lover, writing, should be writing, you should be writing, manuscript, artistic, artist, artists, art, arts, culture, cultured, writer's block, bookworm, book worm, bookworms, book worms, novel, novels, library, librarians, librarian, literature, literary, lit, lit major, read, reading, avid reader, readers, reader, novel, novels, novelist, novelists, unpublished, unsuccessful, discount, discounted, cheap, critic, critics
"We come to you with unbelievable savings."
Tags:savings, alien, aliens, watch, watches, sales, salesperson, salespeople, offer, offers, door-to-door, ufo, ufos, flying saucer, flying saucers, discount, discounts, discounted, travelling salesman, travelling salesmen, traveling salesman, traveling salesmen, salesperson, salespeople, advertisement, advertisements, advertising, advert, adverts, ad, ads
In a Perfect Universe
Ed's Bar & Grill: Schadenfreude Hour 5-7
Cut-Rate Think Tanks - Now available for hire.
"Talk about your cut-rate operations...."
Tags:cut-rate, cut-rate operation, cut-rate operations, funeral, funerals, funeral home, funeral homes, die, dies, dying, discount, discounted, discounting, cheap, cheapness, cut-rate price, cut-rate prices, bodybag, bodybags, body bag, body bags, corpse, corpses, bury, buries, burying, burial, burials, indifferent, uncaring, funeral industry, funeral industries, dark humor, black humor
"One senior and one undead."
Advantages of being bald # 5 - Discounted haircuts
"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"
Tags:discount, discounts, discounted, bailout, bailouts, rug, rugs, carpet, carpets, america, american, americans, ugly american, ugly americans, traveller, travellers, traveler, travelers, travelling, traveling, insult, insulting, offensive, give offense, giving offense, rug, rugs, carpet, carpets, sales, salesperson, salespeople, foreign policy, mexico, mexican, tourist, tourists, american tourist, american tourists
Discount Lawyer 2 Questions Answered Only $10.00
A man walks past a homewares store that has a large sign in the window that reads "Appliance Riot! - Everything in stock priced at least 15% lower than this time next year".
Tags:front window, front windows, display window, display windows, storefront, storefronts, sign, signs, signage, retail, sale, sales, ad, ads, advertisement, advertisements, advertising, marketing, riot, riots, appliances, homeware, discount, discounts, discounted, money, finances, inflation, economy, economics, consumerism, capitalism
Army Navy Store - Sale on Used Government Spyware!
Tags:costco, floss, giant-sized, large, bulk, dental hygiene, excess, bathroom, huge, a lot, mirror, tiles, teeth, gums, mouth, oral hygiene, bulk order, bulk orders, bulk size, bulk sizes, size, sizes, value, values, discount, discounts, discounted, flossing, dental floss, dental hygiene, save money, saves money, saving money
Tags:discount, discounts, surgeon, surgeons, surgery, surgeries, discounting, medical insurance, health insurance, insurance cover, insurance policy, insurance policies, cutting corners, cutting costs, discounted, hospital, hospitals, hospital treatment, hospital treatments, medical malpractice, malpractice
'Yes, I realize it's April. Why do you think I'm offering the 10% discount?'
'For my latest line, I bought clothes at Target and then changed the label,'
Just to see the expression on their faces, store clerk Rodney Clatch liked to offer senior discounts to 40-something women.
"Buy one, get one free."
Used golf buddies.
Tags:golf, golfing, golfer, golfers, shop, shops, shopping, shopper, shoppers, buddy, buddies, caddy, caddies, golf supplies, golfing supplies, second hand, use, uses, used, sale, sales, sell, sells, salesman, salesmen, selling, discount, discounts, discounted, cheap, cheaper, cheapest, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Remember, Chuckles, never discount the write-in vote of circus fans.'
Tags:vote, votes, voting, voted, voter, voters, clown, clowns, circus, circuses, funny, humour, humours, humor, humors, humorous, fan, fans, fanatic, fanatics, crowd, crowds, audience, audiences, president, presidents, leader, leaders, leading, lead, discount, discounts, discounted, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Let's send a thank-you letter to all the vaccine deniers. We should allow them discounts."
Tags:vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, coffin, coffins, undertaker, undertakers, funeral home, funeral homes, coffin maker, coffin makers, discount, discounts, discounted, danger, dangers, dangerous, vaccine denier, vaccine deniers, anti-vaccination, anti-vaccination movement, anti-vaccination movements, irresponsible, irresponsibility, profit, profits, profiting
'I've had the chef's surprise before, so it won't be a surprise. Do I get a discount?'